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Sometimes I wonder if anything is absolute anymore. Is there still right and wrong? Good and bad? Truth and lies? Or is everything negotiable, left to interpretation, grey? Sometimes were forced to bend the truth? to transform it because we are faced with things that are not of our own making. And sometimes, things simply catch up with us. I know I can choose to blame my circumstances on fate or bad luck or bad choices. Or I could just fight back. Things aren’t always going to be fair in the real world. That’s just the way it is. But for the most part, I will try to get what I give. Rest of my life is being shaped right now... ...With the dreams I chase... ….The choices I make... ….and the person Idecide to be... The rest of MY life is a long time. And the rest of MY life starts right now. michelle.verma at 10:19:00 PM Stepping up. It's a simple concept. It basically means to rise above yourself; to do a little more, to show you something special. Something like this. Life's funny sometimes; You know it's been said that we just don't recognize the significant moments of our lives while they're happening. We grow complacent with ideas, or things or people and we take them for granted and it's usually not until that thing is about to be taken away from you that you've realized how wrong you've been that you realized how much you need it, how much you love it. A beautiful quote that swirls through my head from Gandhi, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” If we wish to have a peace in whatever we do or long to have a better life, I believe it all starts from within. Find what you truly want, and not just the outside superficial “stuff”, the house, the car, the money……..what is your driving force? What can you contribute to the world around you? You ever heard the expression 'The best things in live are free.' ? Well that expression is true.' Every once in a while, people step up they rise above themselves sometimes they surprise you and sometimes they fall short. Life is funny sometimes. It can push pretty hard but if you look close enough, you can find hope in the words of the people around you, in the bars of the song and in the eyes of someone you love. " When opporunity knocks, always answer the door." (jack & the beanstalk 1974) michelle.verma at 2:12:00 PM Life is a beautiful journey; And if something seems so impossible for a moment in time, I always need to remind mysef that I can choose a better feeling. There is a sentence I’ve kept with me all these years so poignantly: “There's a light at each end of every tunnel.” Breathe! Just Breathe :)
michelle.verma at 10:26:00 PM Cryptic words meander
Now there is a song beneath the song One day you'll learn You'll soon discern its true meaning An interesting detachment A listless poem of love sincere Desire, despair Overlapping melodies Oh now the roots are reminiscing Recurring dreams of minor chords Metred time Muted chimes find the beat And in the pulse there lies conviction A steady push and pull routine The cymbals swell High notes flail into reach michelle.verma at 6:17:00 PM Closing my eyes and looking back on the year 2009, it’s been overwhelmingly good beyond what words could describe. Even right now as I’m typing, million of vivid memories are flying through my head. I don't know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do this year was really to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, 'well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,' that's all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, 'I'm sorry,' and then you say to yourself, 'I'm sorry.' If we all hold on to the mistake, we can't see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can't see what we're capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one's own self. I think that these days people are so caught by the way they see themselves. Now mind you. When a larger society sees them as unattractive, as threats, as too black or too white or too poor or too fat or too thin or too sexual or too asexual, that's rough. But you can overcome that. The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don't have that we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we should never teach. Oki fine, so in a nutshell to round up this year, there are so many things I would love to give thanks for. All the opportunities kept flowing in my life so unpredictably giving me experiences that could never explained with just words. But let me try to jott down in pt form from what i can remember: FINA World Swimming Coaches Conference Ironman Langkawi & Half Ironman Singapore 2009, Standard Chartered Marathon Executive Committee for Global Youth Conference 2010 Sports Climbing Kakis Climb to Mt Ophir/Malacca/ Batu Caves Asian Youth Games 2009 Sports Presenter (Swimming) Youth Olympic Games 2010 Sports Presenter (Triathlon) OSIM International Triathlon Assistant Swim Chief & Emcee. Champion for OD Team Relay. International Triathlon Union Level 1 Coach Ride of Silence 1 month European escapade (Vienna, Krakow, Munich Amsterdam, and Berlin) to meet all the people who mattered to me and graciously hosted me in their own hometowns. Special thanks to Anne, Monika, Annewil, Sergei, Tlly & Hossein. 2 German words that I pretty much believed at the in 2009 and actually carried out was Liebe Reist= Love travels. Indeed love does travel only if you want it to. The experience to hang out with some of the most humbled and honourable Olympic swimmers during the FINA Swimming World Cup and catching up with Svetlana, Fabiola and the rest of the Russian team 23rd birthday spent doing a 2.3km swim, 23km cycle, 2.3km + Wavehouse surfing Drunk cable skiing escapades to Batam :D Split a finger tendon badly, fractured a ring finger & got whiplashed- but all is good! :D These crystallised memories that sparkle my life are gonna be embedded in my heart for eternity. So as for now till the 2010, before heading off to Bali next Friday to spend my splendid Christmas and New year with Thomas, I would like to thank everyone who has made this year special for me in someway or another- A BIG FAT HUG & A SMOOCHY WOOCHY KISSY FROM ME! michelle.verma at 9:39:00 PM Achievement is largely the product of steadily raising one's level of aspiration and expectation. The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra. He who wants it the most wins! michelle.verma at 10:33:00 PM Youth Olympic Games Sports Presenters Media Launch http://whyohgee.wordpress.com/2009/10/23/yog-sports-presenters-unveiled/ 
michelle.verma at 12:32:00 PM michelle.verma at 8:08:00 PM "You have granted me life and favour, and Your care has preserved my spirit."--Job 10:12 Ever been totally mentally exhausted and physically drained out one day and suddenly just a single song could change all of whatever youre feeling in a second? michelle.verma at 12:54:00 AM  So what i learnt is: the next time you feel too busy to think, understand the decision you are making. You’re making a decision to focus on things that may not make any difference at all. You may end up working endlessly on something that just doesn’t matter. You may need to ditch ideas and projects if they aren’t contributing to making an impact. We all have the desire to matter, make sure you don’t lose sight of the importance of doing what matters. Okie, so well... A summary of my life since my last blog is: Life has been sweet as sugar! Im all pumped up to host the 2 big "events"..and hoping to win a big "prize".These past 2 weekends cableskiing in batam, indonesia with my crazy wacky friends was also a blast beyond description. Climbing has been a great sanity saver but my middle finger (torn tendon) is still acting up here and there. Yes, I have been drinking alot with friends, its definitely fun but i think its time for me to put a точка to it in prep for July's Ironman 70.3 Putrajaya (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia) and next years May St. Polten(Austria)! Weee-har!! Apart from that.. yes... i am gonna be sad that Monya is going back to poland but i believe love does travel and so would i;)!XOXO!          michelle.verma at 10:26:00 AM O.M.Friggin.G! This week my world seems immeasurably wonderful and beautiful beyond my wildest imagination. Never, never, never could I understand what is happening. Never beforehand have i felt like this. Life indeed Can be GREAT-- its actually quite God-like. It can be so! Yes, okie... even with this goodness happening I do also have a lil space left to fill up in my heart. Goodbyes are really not my forte. I am really gonna miss Anne and Yawa's presence in the climbing kakis. No big sister to bully and "control" me..teaching me "good" behaviour :( Well there is a saying: "Don't be dismayed at goodbyes, a farewell is necessary before you can meet again and meeting again, after moments, is certain for those who are friends.” I will definitely try my bestest to meet you in Austria.. if everthing goes smoothly ;)! To all those who were there at yesterdays party.. Thanks once again for tatooing a collage of all the fuzzy, warm, drunken, jelloeyshotties memories in my heart and mind as always. Love you guys! To Света: Woohoo... its Russian Nationals for you right now but I am the one sitting on the edge of my seat. Go kick some ass and swim like a shark as usual!!! Go dominate the pool, bag up some medals and have fun in Москвa...Can't wait to hear all the good news from you soon!    michelle.verma at 3:29:00 PM Have you ever had Angels hovering over you? Watching over you? Feeling the flutter of their powerful wings. Have you ever felt love in your heart so warm that it gave you a beautiful feeling all over your body ? This week i was surely touched by an angel. Life is blissfuly good! जीवन का अच्छा है! "...Destiny is calling me, open up my eager eyes..."
michelle.verma at 12:45:00 PM   It was just beautiful to get out there and mess around with my friends, ramble out yonder and explore the forest, climb the mountain, breathe deep of that yet sweet and lucid air, sit quietly for a moment and contemplate the precious stillness, that lovely, mysterious and awesome space. Thanks everyone for making this trip so special to me. Its definitely gonna be embedded in my mind for quite a while;) michelle.verma at 12:32:00 AM A triathletes' pledge: Water, Wind, and Earth; When 3 becomes One! by Michelle Verma Slipping out before its’s bright To wake them up would not sound right Shuffling myself into the suit Comprising gels and all my other goods What lifts my spirits- makes me whole Achievements fortifies my soul I hit the road, life is good Fierce wind sliced in two; Riding like an arrow By those who’ve never trained at dawn Or used their brain as well as brawn To push through pain, faitgue and ache A lifestyle I could not forsake I shiver at the starting line And a million thoughts go through my mind While praying for a decent time My goal is sudddenly defined How wonderful to play my part In this athletic form of art And dream of height that may not be But is to me, the epitome Of who I wanna be.   michelle.verma at 11:49:00 AM I've got a couple of hardcore modus operandis (namely miles in the desert and movement of tectonic plates) on my mind now and ready to act...and truthfully, just by visualising myself taking on these project with an attitude of openess itself motivates me tremendously. I know im once again gonna be called captain insano by many...but hey... as Josh Billings one said: "occasions are rare and those who know how to seize upon them are rarer." ;)
michelle.verma at 10:19:00 PM When you're enjoying life, time definitely flies by. These 2 weeks i have been having loads of fun but find it hard to find the right expressions for this post. Lets see... i've been in a state of self reflection and stillness just to observe and note how much goodness have passed and ought to be savored.  Last saturday I had a really nice post ironman party with the people in my life who mattered. Thanks to all who were present. It was one hillariously crazy nite after a very long time off alcohol. I am Impressed at the rate of which we all got drunk and found our ways back home;) Been sick and drug overdosed due to a bad ear, nose throat infection but have still been obsessively climbing like a sadistic madhatter for the past week (4days back to back)just to deadpoint all the 6B+s ;)I am by far extremely happy with the new grading but have brought home a strained, crooked left middle finger that is purple and swollen to double its size. I reckon i would been flashing it unintentionally at least for the next 3 days. Break for 4 days and this calls for another nice massage tomorrow! And oh Yes...i've decided to set 3more goals to be reached by the end of this year as the once i planned earlier this year have all been successfully reached. Well whatever it is, throught much thoughts, when all's said and done, i realised all roads would lead to the same end. So it's not so much which road we take, its how we take it. .jpeg) I realised i don't really have to rush to get my targets met...coz after i have accomplished it, i come to the point of ..."so what now??!! i am still me...im still human..im still simply michelle verma"- it does'nt make me any outstandingly different from the rest of the world.. however i do sacredly hold my experiences in reaching my goals to make me a better person. The process of reaching it is extraordinaryly astounding and cannot be compared to anything in the world....so i reckon i just gotta keep climbing the ladder of life at a steady pace and hold true to my values. michelle.verma at 7:27:00 PM An amazing excerpt of John Galt’s Oath from Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. We are on strike against the dogma that the pursuit of one's happiness is evil.-against the doctrine that life is guilt. You damned man, but never dared to question your code. Now choose to perish or to learn that the anti-mind is the anti-life. Men has to be men by choice. He has owe his life as a value. He has to discover the values that he requires and type of virtues by choice. Reason, Purpose, Self-Esteem. Rationality, Independent, Integrity, Honestly, Justice, Productiveness, Pride. In the name of a return to morality, you sacrificed reason to faith. You have sacrificed wealth to need. You have sacrificed self-esteem to self-denial. You have sacrificed happiness to duty. Why, then, do you shrink in horror from the sight of the world around you? It is your moral ideal brought into reality –a world without mind. The world you desired can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it's yours. But to win it requires your total dedication and a total break with the world of your past, with the doctrine that man is a sacrificial animal who exists for the pleasure of others. Fight for the value of your person. Fight for the virtue of your pride. Fight for the essence of that which is man: for his sovereign rational mind. Fight with the radiant certainty and the absolute rectitude of knowing that yours is the Morality of Life and that yours is the battle for any achievement, any value, any grandeur, any goodness, any joy that has ever existed on this earth. You will win when you are ready to pronounce the oath I have taken at the start of my battle—and for those who wish to know the day of my return, I shall now repeat it to the hearing of the world: "I swear—by my life and my love of it—that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine."
michelle.verma at 12:00:00 AM Is life about finding yourself or is it about creating yourself? Why are we all struggling so hard to find out the true definition of life? Life is actually preety simple. We all do not want life to be complicated. I don't know why, but today i was intriguely suprised to feel that we live in a sad, pitiful society that makes it hard for us to live ours lives peacefully. Its like everyone around us are guilty in finding pleasure by degrading others-telling their peers to stop dreaming big by telling them to be realistic. Honestly, does this make one feel any bigger, bettter and stronger? No! It doesnt. So then- why do they still do it? Probably it's sheer envy and fear that the other party would be better. And just a tip, they got to remember that sometimes while trying to pull another person down, it may just boost the supposed "victim"'s ego. Okay, fine~ Ao even I do it somedays..but its just a scary thought...and to know that we can't control it makes it even scarier..but honestly, at least i am openly guilty of it and try to be as frank as possible. Why can't we just be simply true to ourselves-living our own lives and not stepping on another persons' toe? Sadly, as hard as we may try to keep aloof and live in our own nutshells, we cant- coz we ARE part of this society- and there is no escape from that till the day we shut our eyes. I just wanna breathe and breeze through life with an open mind- like a shark swimming in an ocean freely. I wanna take my time and savour such precious and beautiful moments of oppurtunites that life has to offer me. So I really hope that all these people that create such little black clouds and keep lurking around me would vanish and banish as far as possible. I wanna take a walk outside and buy a rainbow smile- as how the stereophonics may put it. michelle.verma at 12:00:00 AM They say that love would never kill you- but the internal wounds and hurts from a failed love might just turn fatal as it eats you up inside out and scars you for life. Maybe the last time you really gave your heart to someone it got broken- making it so hard to fall in love again- even harder to mention the shere word itself- therefore we try to run faraway, silencing our heart and gut instincts, never wanting to be caught in the dreaded trap again. Is there realy such a thing as unconditional love-in human stance. And honestly I reckon we chose whether or not our heart is open to love once again. michelle.verma at 1:47:00 PM It's tragically pathetic and sad that some people have nothing better to do with their lives and therefore love coming up with missions to screw up their own lives. They are probably dissatified and physcoticticly frustrated that they can't get attention from others. Some people are ridiculous beyond belief and immature. My heart truly goes out to them; their torn apart families and warped friends. Maybe they are the cause of complications to this beautiful world of ours. But in whatever case, i am honoured to still be remembered by an "EXTREMELY SPECIAL" someone who is frightfully what i described above. So much time spent on me.. awwwwww...;) michelle.verma at 9:34:00 AM IRONMAN 70.3. Мишель ВЭРМА: SINGAPORE 22nd March 2009      Yes! 1 full Ironman and one 1/2 Ironman within a time frame of 24 days. Another first feat accomplished by a Singaporean. Indeed this month i've been extremely exhaustible and felt battered even before my embarkation of my Ironman 70.3 Singapore, recently on 22nd march. But through this venture i have learnt that by just simply becoming aware of our inner strength and trusting our bodys' survival instincts could bring us such power and energy to carry us through such a gruelling distance. It just never fails to amaze me. So, It started off with a really wet, thundery day, making me worry about the wet roads for the cycle route. The first bike loop went preety well and as planned but just as i entered my 2nd bike loop, there were sharp jabbing pains on my knees; due to a soft tissue injury and calf inflammation i had gotten 2 weeks ago. To add on to the pain, just 2 nights before that i had a slight concussion from a falling carpark baricade right on my head making it even harder for me to keep my helmet on. As i kept paddling i saw many affected by the sabotage of metal tack on the roads puncturing their tyres and what i saw was sheer determination and willpower for them to be sitting down by the side of the road fixing their flats just to complete their race. This spirit kept me going on and i was lucky enough not to have been affected by the prank. Yes I knew and thought to myself it wasnt a "brilliant" idea to race injured but my mind was smart enough to have pre-strategized and calculated the intermediate estimated times so that I could come in before the overall cut of time if i just paced myself . Everything in my body was telling me to quit, but i knew that whatever i wanted to achieve was all in the mind. Doubtlessly, there were countless times i wanted to give up and stop the race, but i knew that just by completing this feat would rank me 3rd in my age group for the ironman 70.3 world series- that was what drove me to the finishing line. In fact, this was my most torturous and depressing race, but all in all I felt that it was the MIND OVER the BODY- vice versa-when we challenge our bodies to do more, in turn it also makes us stronger. These 2 Ironmans have truly enabled me to explore faraway frontiers of my human potential, and have quipped me with a higher degree of mental focus. I believe I am blessed with these essentials as part of my growing process. So now, with at least for my goals achieved, the I am temporarily retiring...at least for the next 3months. To all those who were there in full force to support me- Thanks a kazillion. I am truly grateful with all your constant cheers. A big congratulation goes out to all those who completed the race. Anything is possible! Official timings and rank: Swim: 0:43:12 Bike: 3:34:40 Run: 3:00:03 Overall: 7:23:00 Rank: 3rd (Females 18-24) michelle.verma at 1:28:00 PM This morning I chanced upon a quote and snap...i thought to myself how true it was. "I must learn to love the fool in me the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries." наконец, не очарованный ею! Жизнь лучше без осложнений!
michelle.verma at 11:41:00 AM "It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your hearts longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams or for the adventure of being alive. It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your sorrow; If you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and close from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fit it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with the wildness and let the "Meatheadedness" fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself, if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want to know if you can be faithful and trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not there everyday, and if you can source your life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still shout stand on the edges of a lake, river or mountain and shout to the silver of the full moon. Yes! I'm a Meathead... It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for someone you love. It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and truly like the company you keep in the empty moments of your life and still remember me... Live more than your neighbours, unleash yourself upon the world and go places. Giggle, laugh and bark at the moon like you're a wild dog. Our lives are not a dressed rehearsal. This second is it; It never comes back. Face your fears and live your dreams. Take it all in. Yes, every chance of it. Come close. I am an Ironman!" John Blais 1971-2007
michelle.verma at 2:09:00 AM  2 weeks have passed since conquering my IRONMAN dream. Honestly, till today im extremely estatic about my new status and am humbled by the experience. Many have been congratulating me endlessly and i'm sincerely thankful for each one of them.I was just thinking about my actions in life and realised that it could be reduced to probably just two factors: my positioning and timing. If we are not in the right place at the right time, we cannot possibly take advantage of what life has to offer us. Almost anything is appropriate if an action is in accord with the time and the place. Sometimes we tend not notice the moment when our lives presents an opportunity. I was just lucky to have seized mine. I would never ever have changed it for the world;) "If you can imagine it,you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you Can become it!" michelle.verma at 11:01:00 AM IRONMAN. Мишель ВЭРМА: Malaysia, Langkawi 28 February 2009        My journey to the starting line of IRONMAN Malaysia, Langkawi started about month ago. As a hyperactive and adrenaline driven girl, I always had one ultimate dream to achieve in my sporting life and that was to complete the gargantuan task of running a full 26 mile marathon after swimming 2.4 miles and biking 112 miles. Being a qualified sports science student and a triathlon/swim coach for a couple of years now, I always understood the importance of training, nutrition and so on but unfortunately I was never the kind of athlete that was discipline enough to keep up to the regimental training. Many of my peers came up to me and taunted me that I was not physically ready and to top it of I did not have much experience to go into this hardcore adventure I had in mind; since I had only completed one ½ IRONMAN at the age of 20-just to years back; where I was then ranked fourth. To make matters worst, I received news 4 months ago from my chiropractor that I had a misalligned pelvic causing both my knees to often have sharp pains after long runs. He advised me to stop running for 3 months and because of that I had withdrew from the IRONMAN in Western Australia last December. But early this year as I searched the net and was spurred on my best friends to register for the race. I gazed upon the racesite continuously and there i foundout that it was deemed the 2nd hardest race course in the whole Ironman series. As i loved sadistic challenges, my eyes was automatically set upon conquering it. With the support of my other close rock climbing friends and family and a month of pre race registration jitters; it took me a gruelling month before finally clicking on the entry submission; I was in a blink of an eye, one step closer to my IRONMAN dream. It was deemed the hardest because of the sheer blistering heat of 43 degrees Celsius and its steep, undulating and technical hills. Thanks to my very persistent and stubborn attitude, I decided to bypass my chiro and physio and had pressed on with my minimal training, however with extreme care for my knees. In my mind, I always knew that completing an Ironman was always possible but also understood that careful, realistic and strategic planning was crucial. Prior to the race, I had planned up my estimated swim, cycle and run cut off times and also my nutrition intake pre, post and during the competition. Into transition, I fuelled up and had started walking cum jogging the marathon, which left my knees totally busted by the end of the race. I tried to keep focus as I paced myself with different groups of people from different countries but ended up taking over many of them. At the 5th loop of my marathon one of my fellow peers and veteran ironman told me that I could hit a sub 16hrs if I had kept the pace, I just smiled back at him as I overtook him and told him that it would be a blessing for me just to finish my race in once piece. All Glory to God! With HIM, ALL things are Possible! michelle.verma at 5:06:00 PM Without realising it, our life moves on; Whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, Everything we run away from, Everything we deny, denigrate or despise; serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength; If faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.
michelle.verma at 1:08:00 AM The day is done and now in the darkness; a new day starts but for the first time after weeks I feel like an eagle in the midst of his flight; soaring high above the ground; parting the clouds with its gigantic yet tireless wings- reminding me of my regained sense of freedom. Its like a bird let out from its cage.
michelle.verma at 1:27:00 AM All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I looked someone tried to tell me what it was. I always tried to accept their answers though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naive. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I could answer. It took me a while and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: That I am nobody but myself! I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it -- I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know -- but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me. However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay. "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment!" -Ralph Waldo-
michelle.verma at 11:06:00 AM People ask me how come I smile so much. Well, I just tell them its a long story but its very simple at the same time. Honestly its very hard to smile sometimes in life through the things that happen that we dont know and we don't understand why its there and if we 're gonna get through it. We go through storms in our lives and we don't know how long the storm is gonna be. Its a lie to think I'm not good enough Its a lie to think I'm not worth anything, Coz my name is engraved on the heart of my everloving God! "Everyone needs compassion, Love that's never failing; Let mercy fall on me. Everyone needs forgiveness, .... ...He can move the mountains, My God is Mighty to save ....So take me as You find me, All my fears and failures, Fill my life again. I give my life to follow Everything I believe in, Now I surrender..." -Hillsong Australia, 2008: Mighty to Save- michelle.verma at 4:58:00 AM I might have been broken down, my body might be bruised I feel the stone set in my eye I see the thorn twist in my side but i aint gonna give up. I believe love would come back around I see a light that is shining down to rescue me! Through the storm I believe i would reach the shore...soon! michelle.verma at 12:13:00 PM There once lived a little girl that tried to do all the right things.... The little girl was always hiding behind a mask.... Constantly livng her life as if it was a never ending a masquerade party.... . With lights flashing and shining into her eyes, she glows like the starry skies above. Yes, she was a star at the party-thats for sure Aren't you thinking how lucky it would be to be her? Well thats because, no one knew what went on in the puney head of hers... and probably no one would ever know... coz she herself doesnt. And she knows that the lights that flash would one day fade away.
michelle.verma at 11:46:00 AM Why is it that we don't always recognize the moment love begins, but we always recognize the moment it ends? If love is so wonderful to give and of course.. to receive, why do we allow ourselves to allow outside influences to get us down? So much for the dysfunctional word called L.O.V.E.
Happy Valentines?! michelle.verma at 1:20:00 AM "Sometimes it seems like you are the only one in the world who's struggling, who's frustrated, unsatisfied, barely getting by. But that feeling's a lie. And if you just hold on, just find the courage to face it all for another day, someone or something will find you and make it all okay. Because we all need a little help sometimes-someone to helps us hear the music in their world, to remind us that it won't always be this way.
That someone is out there. And that someone will find you." michelle.verma at 12:04:00 AM How many special people change?
How many lives are living strange? Please tell me I’m just feeling tired 'cause if it's more than that, I fear that I might break Out of touch out of time My signals are mixed Exhale Another wasted breath Again it goes unnoticed All the roads I walk are winding And all the lights that lead me there are blinding There are many things that I would like to say But I don't know how I'll wait until tomorrow Maybe I'll feel better then I can't bear these nights of thoughts. When you are rock bottom, things can only getbetter right? So, i am sure to expect great things to come my way! Here's to better days. Cheers! michelle.verma at 7:08:00 PM Here, in this life we can chose to be anything we want. And I think that is what scares us. I think something that scares me- is only myself. We always promise ourselves never to give up and to stay alive as long as it takes. We scream just enough to be heard by ourselves. Well I have decided: I would want to remembered as a lad who had a wonderful time living life to the fullest-every second of it, a lad who had good friends, fine family, ever loving God - and I don't think I could ask for anything more than that, actually. michelle.verma at 11:57:00 PM Climber-holics: "In life, it's really a blessing to find something that you love to do and to be able to do it. But to find people to do it with, to share the same goal with, the same pain and joy, happiness and frustration, can never be replaced by anything else in the world"           * PS Karin, Ich werden dich vermissen..very much! Liebe reist! michelle.verma at 1:41:00 AM Did you ever wonder what it would be like if you weren't you anymore? My head is in a mess now. So many things going around and so little time to take a control of them. They say we leave this world just the way we came into it ---- naked and alone. So, if we do leave with nothing, What then, is a measure of a life ? Is it defined by the people we choose to love ? Or is life simply measured by our accomplishments ? And what if we fail ? or we are never truly loved ? What then ? Can we ever measure up ? Or will the quiet desperation of life want to drive us mad ? All I can say is Frieden, Liebe und Freude! I think in the midst of this new hectic year I fell in love and gave a piece of my heart to someone. I love her!
If you think this post is depressive than you are highly mistaken... there is just too many AWESOME stuff happening in my life also but am not quite in the mood to blog about those stuff today....however, I will do just that.... soon.
michelle.verma at 9:12:00 PM With every day that passed since the new year started, so many awesome yet incredibly unbelievable things have been happening in my life. I've been discovering something new bout myself preety much every day. It seems that there is just so much difference in my life now- for the better that is. So many things are going on in my heart and mind. Obviously not everything is sweet and smooth flowing all the time but i am savouring every second of it. Thank You Lord. For all those who matter to me- Thank you so much..especially the "special two"- you know who u are. I love you both! michelle.verma at 12:10:00 AM FINA 1st World Swimming Coaches Conference 2009 15-17th January 2009 Marina Mandarin Singapore      michelle.verma at 12:30:00 PM With less than 3 days to go before the new year, I was just spending some time reflecting on this year and coming up with some ideas to head into 2009. The past year was one of the most invigorating and enjoyable, sometimes exhausting year- but I am extremely thankful for every second of it. The outlook for my first half of 2009 is rather positive but I will be looking out for whatever crazy opportunities are on the horizon and what pitfalls to avoid. Here's to everyone who have made an impact in my life and made this year so memorable...you know who you are! CHEERS darlings- Love you! For the rest of you guys: Have a Merry Christ filled Christmas and Happy Holidays and enjoy time with those you love. To end off, Har Borland one said: "The years end is neither an end nor a beginning, but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us." michelle.verma at 11:56:00 AM Each birthday is a new awakening. Each birthday is a new hope. Each birthday is a new promise. Each birthday is a new fulfilment. This birthday for me was just filled with the very presence of my inner soul-child glowing in happiness. Thanks you Lord for EVERYTHING...especially for few months that led up to this day. 1st December 2008: Thanks to every single one who remembered this day and for all your wishes. I am deeply touched. Started of my day with 1(22) km cycle around singapore on my own while reviewing my Goals for 2009 and thanking God for 2008.
Sometimes we take for granted the people in our lives that mean the most to us. *ps. I'm gonna miss doing crazy stuff with you for 1 month! Have a great time in Poland and climb the Alps for me! One thing for sure is that we are still gonna keep in touch every single day...even if there is no reception on the mountains!Its called the M&M telepathy muaxkkkzzz! Below are some photos from my companys dinner 2 weeks ago. Introducing my Russian bestie: michelle.verma at 9:53:00 AM Today marks exactly 1 yr of the dragonboat tradegy's. Reuben Kee! you are deeply missed by us. 2 nights ago my 2+yrs old student Jillian Lee passed away peacefully after struggling wih cancer. Its just really ironic . The meaning of life and death. Right now there are just so many keywords flying around my mind. The past week was probably one of the bestest weeks of my life, yet traumatising but i am not regretting one single bit of it. Ms Monika.B.Z I love you to bits.  ..nothing explains the connetion wifey! I am dumbfounded and can't find any words t describe my feeling and emotions today. All i can say is that i am tired but blissfully happy- smiling to myself. Thank you Lord! PEACE, LOVE JOY! Right place and Right time.;)' Yesterday climbing kakis picnic cum Jan's farewell dinner at East Coast parkway was really really something subtle that i neede to ease my mind on a nice busy weeked. The Triathlon Technical Official Course for the Youth Olympic Games also went preetty well. Tecently just been really blessed to have been able to work with Triathlon Association of Singapore to reach out to youths for the upcoming YOG 2010. :D Last weeks Batu Caves trip is something i would definitely not have missed for the world. It is something that would be engraved in my heart for a longlong time to come. It's surprising how much of memory is built around things unnoticed at the time.
My new ride arrived a week ago and its a beauty!What more can I ask for. The new HED 3 wheels would be arriving in December. But hey IronMan can wait coz priorities change:D In the mean time i am saving some money for my Russia trip and other bike accessories.
2 things that im ooglin at now - AHEM for those who keep aking me what i wat for my bday:
Geez! Its my 22nd bday next week. Yes, there were so many things i wanted to do last year and i'm affirmative tis year the list is gonna multiply...but...As for now, i am just gonna try to slow down in life; live breath and learn. michelle.verma at 1:36:00 PM It's amazing how one person could impact your life in just a short span of time. Svetlana Karpeeva- You're my Olympic champ and a hero in my eyes;) Your spirit, fire and passion for swimming has once again inspired me get a grip of my recently given up dream. I am truly honored and privileged to have been able to see you in action and chat up with you last week. These memories will not be easily forgotten. Love ya to bits and am missing you! Had a ball of a time with you and George at Sentosa and the zoo;) All the best at the FINA World Cup in Moscow these 2days.. can't wait for you to come back to Singapore next year;) Thanks for the Cheburashka! Reminds me alot of myself! "Name a wish, place it in your heart. Anything you want, everything you want. Do you have it? Good. Now believe it can come true. You never know when the next miracle can come from, the next smile, the next wish. But if you believe that it right around the corner. And you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the serenity of it. You just may get the thing your are wishing for. The world is full of magic you just have to believe it. So make your wish. Do you have it? Good. Now believe in it with all you heart."   The FINA Swimming World Cup was really an eye opener. Yeah i was sorta a Russian team fanatic thanks to the influence of my 3 close russian friends. Got to meet Sergei Geybel too and I gotta tell you he is one funny, cool funky dude. Outstanding swimmer yet humble! To be seated there watchin Olympians swim and in the company of entertaining people- it can't get any better;)
All i can say is that everything have been going smoothly. I have decided to postpone my studies to next year while i focus on gettin my driving licence and really LIVE MY LIFE doing some crazy things and EXPERIENCING things not normaly people would. I NEED SOME ADRENALINE! Even working hours these days have been preety flexi and the staff gathering have really been gelling us together preety tightly.
This weekend has been rather fruitful. Apart from climbing and extracting, I am glad to see that George is opening up and he is actually a preety awesome russian dude. Just Friday night we went out for a rather chilled-laid back dinner, coffee and ice cream at Orchard then Dempsey when i realised that he is getting noisier- Which is totally cool. I am also really thankful for my new found friend- i think im gonna sorta be like her 7 yrs from now. Monika.B- You know you're a really strong girl with a tremendous charasmatic character that i totally admire.;) Cheers! michelle.verma at 2:35:00 AM Recently its been hard with all the craziness happening, but i have realised what matter is that this life we live gives us with the power to choose what we want to do and to do it well and honestly to love it to the fullest and make ourselves happy. I'm at a place in my life right now where I'm very blessed and content-having a solid and ever reliable God in my life. Upcoming and Past Highlights:
michelle.verma at 9:50:00 PM These few weeks have just passed smoothly. Yea, looking back at it there were some crazy, scary, good and bad stuff that happened, but all the air was cleared with a couple of laughs, a few good refreshing deep breaths and talks. So in a nutshell below are some of the pics from my Singapore Panaromal Invesigators nite out to a couple of Cemeteries the past Friday nite. Managed to catcha couple of spirited shots and might be investigating new places with the team soon. Thy Climbing Kakis 1st Year Anniversary over at Natasha's Place on Saturday- The nite that led me so drunk that i literally had a bathe in my own puke followed by the worst hangover the whole of yesterday. However apart from that I was extremely delighted to be part of the the get together:D Thanks mates;)       So this few weeks are gonna be hectic for me as i get ready to suprise myself either Decemberish- Februarish. I'm also going to have my first natural rock climbing experience next month in Batu Caves for 3 days- so i'm preety excited for that.
michelle.verma at 12:04:00 AM I donno why...but moments ago three burning words was just lurking in my heart just waiting for me to shout it out- but felt kinda strangely weird and unexpected: "Jesus, Sailboat, Hallelujah". Then suddenly as i was playing my old forsaken electric guitar i was strumming to the song "Hear our praises" and meditated on what i've been going through this year- it became a conversation between me and God. I always grew up knowing I could never reach my destination without the wind. I know that it will take me where I am to go, but I have come to believe in a higher force within me that is my source of strength and peace. This made me think: Perhaps, I was trying to reach my destination and goals by my own efforts and my journey was over when I reached the limit of what was inside of me- often making me cranky and so tired. I know i haven't been the best child of the God-especially since i stopped the ministry- but i really got to tell you guys that He has never failed me!- always catching me when i fell. Recently, as many of you may know i gave up my biggest life dream: the upcoming Western Australias' Ironman. It was as much of a shock to myself as to my friends. I was so disheartenned and angry with my self for giving up that easily and not being able to continue; when all my accomodations, ticketting, racefee, transportation and arrangements were already paid. This depressive state mad me so crazy that i even sold my most loved possession:my cevrvelo bike:( Many thought i had gone cuckoo and was doomed for the pitholes. I honestly was so devastated but played all so tough and cool on the outside as usual-when i was crying out loud and bleeding inside. I honestly didnt know what to do. Situations all round were just going haywire. Work, School administratives screwing up forcing me to switch my degree programme, my Ironman dream, stopping my clubbing and alcoholic habitcs, friends....everything. But last week things started taking a dramatic and incredible turnabout. Well a month and a half i would say: Here's just a small list of things I would like to share with you guys:
*Below are some photos from todays climbing with the SP guys. It was unfortunate we could climb at dairy farm and was caught in the storm. But anyways we never know when the rain would start to fall...so we continued out climb at Singapore poly and took loads of awesome photos which i plan to upload once i receive it from one of the mates. I am Super-cali-fragil-istic-espi-ali-dociously exhalted that my strength is starting to boom up in climbing although i was in acute pain caused by my flesh exposed warts on my hand:( Managed to lead climb a roof:D and the past few weeks i managed to complete a couple of 6B+ routes comforably and even 1 6c route. Overcomed my fear of lead climbing roofs, crimpers and slopers: I am indeed smilign to myself pyschotically. I love the pain and blisters these days! I am in the zone man!
All i gotta say is that : My God is so great, so strong, so mighty and faithful. There’s nothing He can’t do! He’s my strength, my hope, my hero in me. michelle.verma at 9:07:00 PM They say we leave this world just the way we came into it; naked and alone. So if we do leave with nothing, what then is the measure of a life? Is it defined by the people we choose to love? Or is life simply measured by our accomplishments? And what if we fail? Or are never truly loved? What then? Can we ever measure up? Or would the quiet desperation of a life gone wanting drive us mad? michelle.verma at 12:25:00 AM Мишель ВЭРМА is smilin to herself and singing!
"Here's my key philosophy A freak like me Just needs infinity Relax Take your time And take your time To trust in me And you will find Infinity, infinity The time goes by So naturally and you'll receive Infinity, infinity, infinity, infinity Infinity, infinity, infinity, infinity" michelle.verma at 2:26:00 AM Right, honey. How is one supposed to differentiate a grown up? It is crazy how people have to go to great lengths to put another person down when they don’t even know the person personally. What would you people get? Happiness? WoW! GAWWWDDD!!! Why do you people even thing of saying such thing without your toes being stepped on? Jealous or Envious internally? Understand this mates: every day we face the same truth: that life is fleeting- our time here is short- please go find something else better to do rather then making senseless comments that are baseless. Keep your opinions to yourselves. Do unto others what you want others to do onto you. Search your own hearts and realise that if someone else were to do the same to you, it will sting you and eat you up from the inside out- immensely. Dudes, wake up! Its simple: YOU DON’T KNOW ME. Just don’t let it erupt into seeing the worst of me. Enough of me being nice. I know I’m tough, ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay fine deal with it! michelle.verma at 3:38:00 AM I am so glad my days are gettin much brighter than before. I just gotta let go and let time do its wonders . I knew everything was gonna be just right. I love it when my soul and spirit works together just like how i would strum to a chord on my guitar and "BAAAAAMMMM" it just flows with the lyrics. This feeling is beautiful. I'm simply hwappy and it feels like my heart is beating out of my chest! Can you feel this with me?;) *P.s. my One Tree Hill staple is back! ADDICTED! michelle.verma at 12:38:00 AM Although I have been really poooped out by the full swing work week under the hot sun- with all the upcoming swim races and leagues, I found todays' hike at bt timah, the neptune league with the power aquaduckies and yesterdays' bowling outing with extremely refreshing and relaxing to my mind. Thanks people for making this weekend bearable and helping me cope up with my insanity of aborting my IMWA and selling my beloved Cervelo.. I have been outdone by my own kind I always traded up Well I’m unaffected and indifferent I know this is how hurt feels And I can’t pretend I’m not over the edge I’ve somehow regressed It’s unprecedented, no second best   michelle.verma at 7:18:00 PM  I just realised why i am so exalted about my revived passion in climbing.It keeps me sane from all the insanity in my life! It keeps me holding on to my dreams at the same time lettin go of some stuff to reach them. Errmm yeah i am dissapointed in myself for giving up my Ironman dream this year but well.....my heart has opened up again.So...there are like a kizillion of things around us that tear us apart all the time, but in these situations, it also hardens us up-making us stronger. It sends a voice that would someday come through your head letting you know that there is still love and passion inside of you This makes our dark hearts believe in what is true again I know that in the dark there’s a fear of letting go I know that in my heart that I fear what I don’t know and this feels like I’m letting go But when it’s hard to trust, when the heart been broken times before and you pull the curtains and you lock the door, swearing that you’ll never go out anymore STEP OUT! Look for the sound! Even the seeming void would becomes a solid ground The sight you lost becomes a faith you'll soon find! michelle.verma at 1:40:00 AM “…Did you ever wonder what it would be like if you weren’t you anymore? If you were suddenly gone how would your world react? Whatever you imagined was wrong. There’s nothing romantic about death. Grief is like the ocean: it’s deep and dark and bigger than all of us. And pain is like a thief in the night. Quiet. Persistent. Unfair. Diminished by time and faith and love…”
michelle.verma at 12:19:00 AM So this morning at 11.30am, I bid a sad farewell to my darling faithful Cervelo Dual. This was just the next step i took after my decision to abort the Ironman Dream last week. People might be thinkin i've gone cuckoo..but not to worry im sane and grounded. Actually i'm preety much hwappy and contented in my heart-and that's all that matters. Thanks for caring people.... I once heard a quote: "True wisdom is less presuming than folly. The wise man doubteth often, and changeth his mind; the fool is obstinate, and doubteth not; he knoweth all things but his own ignorance." Well its not the matter itself but the manner in which something is done or said. michelle.verma at 7:49:00 PM High On Rocks Session @ Dairy Farm! 14.09.08! A climber's day always starts at the crux: getting out of bed! So i woke up early in the morning today for my first virginal natural rock climbing experience at Dairy Farm and didnt know what to expect. All i knew that it would be way more dangerous than climbing in a gym and that one of my personal friend did afterall lose his life at that very place a few years ago. I knew tat i had to be extra safe when grabbing and trusting a jug or placing my foot hold on a stable rock...epecially since it is granite and all mossy and slippery. I gotta say after today, ...it was the awesomnest climb i ever had in all my climbing experience ...at least to date..managed to do a couple of easy Grade 5-6A+ walls...however im sure the 6A+ wall was at least a 6B+ even according to the better climbers... I am looking forward to many more experiential climbs with my coolest climbing kakis. I think im falling into the love trap of climbing again! Well like i always believe: the best climber in the world is the one who's having the most fun! This week has been an awesome week!!!:D *Ps. I have withrawn from my IMWA 2008 and am contented with my decision! If you wanna know the reason ask me yourself;)          michelle.verma at 8:18:00 PM "For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation"
--Rainer Maria Rilke-- michelle.verma at 12:24:00 AM Whats the space between wrong and right?
Who will wait and see you through? Do I know what you know Is it gonna be clear or will it show My heart is cold But i know i'll make it through the storm I would try to find the answers even if they aren’t so easy to find The questions will have to do And i will find the fix myself. "The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes" -Marcel Proust- michelle.verma at 2:21:00 AM I need a sweet dream to soothe me I cant seem to fall asleep It feels that the world is rushing by at the speed of light I need a strong resolution I need some peace. I need a quiet evening by the breezy beach I wanna dance in the cold rain and sing to myself I need a comfortable whisper to bless my heart and make me go weak. I'm searching my heart for answers No one can explain. Even I cannot explain Oh …..make me seeee …open my eyes I understand that there may be grief and there may be pain but i waana wake up and be aware I don’t wanna be blinded by the darkness that is surrounding me now! No more! michelle.verma at 2:04:00 PM The Nike+ Human Race Singapore! 31.08.08.
So, going for todays race race was almost like going to a funfair or me! Thanks to Vicka for coaxing me to join this race and sorta making me like NIKE just a lil more i gottta say i ended up having a great time especially with all the intense socialising॥unfortunately couldnt get my hands on a bottle of beer and charge towards the finishing line. Didnt think i could have ran a 10km wih so much of slacking since i got my butt from Cheenaland...but hey managed to complete the race in one piece. P.s. Congrats mokadoodles and dinasaur! “I was ready, but I wasn't at my best, ... Now nobody will disturb me about this. Nobody will say nothing to me. I'll just relax and take some time off, I guess, and just prepare for the next events. - Svetlana Kuznetsova ...ermm okie well maybe i wasnt't ready..but who cares;)
michelle.verma at 12:05:00 AM Friendship...It such a sweet thing but gets weirdly tangled up with closeness. Could we draw back the curtains that surrounds each others lives and see an individuals naked heart and spirit? Would it be purer than we think it would be? Would we know what spurs their actions? If we only understood.....  Tomolo is the Nike+ Human Run. Haven't been trainin a single bit and i'm not feelin too well... So i am just hoping to have a fun run holding a bottle of beer towards the finishing line! Anyways I've uploaded most of the photos from my BeiJing Internship cum Olympics 2008 trip on facebook so feel free to browse thru it and make some comments;) michelle.verma at 8:20:00 PM Time has gone so fast and I am just simply amazed at how we first we strangers and became so close gradually. I don't know what it all means man. I was just thinking...people we don' expect to meet could just come into your life and make your life so much more enjoyable..sharing their own different opinions and culture, never making your world stagnated. I am really really gonna miss the Stolyrovas till we meet again--Russia Le 2009;)... заботьтесь и любите Вас! заполните целую жизнь с любимыми улыбок!   michelle.verma at 12:40:00 AM CableSkiing Escapade in Batam! SUPERRRRDOOOOPPYYDEEDOO!             michelle.verma at 10:09:00 PM Recently i have been receiving alot of my friends commenting about my BeiJing trip- mostly being envious of my experience. Well all i gotta say sincerely is that I consider it a great honor and a privilege to have been given that oppurtunity to be there. Being a sports freak, I just can't imagine a better place apart from BeiJing for the summer Olympics during this period. It's a wonderful feeling. I was never the best sportsman, but I had always dreamt to be at an Olympic venue screaming my lungs out. Maybe its time for me to take up competitive YOGA and Pilates;)! michelle.verma at 1:22:00 PM
6th August: Did v02 max test, isokinetic testing, foot analysis, sports for all testing! i was still raging with energy and went for some mega shoppin spree till late at nite and an exotic dinner with urchins and goose on the menu followed by my first taste of ABSTINTHE!    8th August: The Olympics Opening Ceremony was good. Though we didnt have the tickets to the birdnest and Dian Anmen was too crowded, me and sharon made our way down to the military musuem where we gather with the locals and a couple of expat celebrating the opening on the big screen in a cosy picnic style. Arrgghhh I lost all my photos coz i needed to reformat my usb drive but not to worry- I am gonna try to get it revived soon. 9th August: National Day in Singapore was not as good as wakin up early in the morning on the 1st day of the olympic games to flag off the 280km cycling race. The winner was a hot spanish dude using a bianchii bike..unfortuately my cervelo italian dude dropped back after a crazy lead nearing the end. Went out to look for a rock climbing gym but was turned down. Headed to do some grocery shoppin and had the best barbeque squid and tofu accompanied with a great cup of iced caramel macchiato:D 10th August: One of the most exciting and memorable days of my life that probably wouldnt forget. Started the morning out with a stroll through the Temple of Heaven, collected some stuff from the official Team Singapore Hotel and had the most SUPER itenary in the trip: 2 tickets to the Olympics Beach Volleyball match thanks to a hot Brazilian dude outside selling his tickets. Lucky we found a sincere soul amongst all these black marketer outside the site. Got to peck the cheeks of the Spainish Team Coach and Doopler from the Austrian men's double team *bleams*!           Met loads of people from all over the world (suprisingly loads of russians) and had good budweissers, popcorn, chocs, oreos in an awesome event with great company and a nice thunder and lightning filled atmosphere that made me freeze for the 4hrs. Oh ya i got interviewed on some chinese news channel too.. so it was preety awesome. Games I got to catch over at the Chaoyang Park Beach VolleyballGround: Xue/Zhang Xi (China) vs Koutroumanidou/Tsiartsiani (Greece Brink/Dieckmann Ch. (Germany) vs Asahi/Shiratori (Japan) Gibb/Rosenthal (United States) vs Boersma E./Ronnes (Netherlands) Herrera/Mesa (Spain) vs Kais Kr./Vesik (Estonia) Barsuk/Kolodinskiy (Russian Fed.) vs Doppler/Gartmayer (Austria)                11th August: We had our closing ceremony after a long 2 week of internship with the Beijing sport and research institute, afterwhich we visited the Olympic Village with also covered the view of the The National Aquatic Centre a.ka. Watercube, The national stadium a.k.a BirdNest with the astounding flame burning in the midst of the afternoon ever so brightly and a couple of other buildings. Saw Andreii Cross there..the 100m breastroker..preety calm and cool dude i gotta say.
After the visit, sharon and myself headed down to Wan Fu Jing for our last good lunchin Beijing and did some last minute shopping. Bought muffins for the rest of the dudes for breakfast the next morning, as we were due to leave by 4am.
I wanted to share with ya...about wad i was reminiscing about the trip during our flight back to singapore but im sure you would rather sleep than to hear this motor mouth speak non stop. michelle.verma at 4:49:00 AM These 2 days have been super awesome! Forbidden City, Great Wall of China, Jade Museum, great lunch dinner and dimsums accompanied with powered alcohol. Shopping with great company, 13th Ming Dynasty Tomb, Top grade tea tasting and Traditional Chinese Medicine Foot Massage. I am utterly and gratefully happy:D                   michelle.verma at 11:53:00 PM Photos have been uploaded on facebook- The secret training grounds of the china's state team is revealed- as i promised yesterday! Woots! Tonites Clubbing was borring an worst of all got hit on by an english girl. Unfortunately was not high enough to make out with her. However there was a hot German guy that chatted up with me at the entrance..unfortunately he was attached:( michelle.verma at 4:08:00 AM Coming together was the beginning. Keeping together is the progress. My travel buds in BeiJing are a bunch of awesome people. Today we woke up late again and left for the last and biggest sports school in Beijing. Saw the national baseballers, cyclists at the worlds second largest aerodome and the the hockey and archery team too. The world record archer was there too.Though there were alot of restriction of photo takin, as usual i managed to sneak a few shots and even got to take a photo with a couple of the athlete before heading back to the hotel for the gruesome lunch of cow lungs and brains. Thank god i there was chicken and potatoes. Its 2.35 in the afternoon and im gonna catch a nap or run before clubbing, shoppin and starbucking tonite. Michelle Out! Here are just a couple of photos. Do feel free to comment on it;)                      michelle.verma at 1:16:00 PM For those who are still reading my blog...ive gotta tell ya today was another awefully hectic day but an eye opening one. Started the morning with a really crappily shabby breakfast of dumpling at a road stall with rude people once again. Starbucks later that morning made my day awesome once again ...but when we went shopping...the stall keepers couldnt keep their hands off us. They snatched our money and were behaving so babaric...I have learnt how to deal with them. BE RUDE back to them! Its a really good skill to practive with the chinese nationals. Anyways today was the visit to another sports school. I was awed at home such young kids were performing well. The volleyballers that were aged 15-17 were of 2metres in height. The gymnastics, wushu, sanda, badminton, boxing people were all really disciplined that their focussed werent even shifted with the bunch of us there oogling at them. The 6 years old gymnast were endlessy doing their isometric drills....Unfortunately we couldn't take alot of photos due to restrictions and also their sense of secrecy. The people from this school were rather cocky as compared to yesterdays. Ended the day with faboulous Peking duck and a spread of other dishes followed by more shoppin..im spending tooo much,... okie less than 5 hrs of sleep and im off to the dome later today. Can't wait to club this weekend! michelle.verma at 1:22:00 AM Day 2 and Day 3 of Beijing Olympics Internship: So day 2 was yesterday. In a nutshell..we had only 2 hrs of sleep and woke up to a draggin full day of lectures at the BeiJing sports Institute. Yeah it was dreadful but lotsa interesting new facts I learnt but generally scarily simalar to the Russians. WEll the party only started after we came home. Off we went for some good Beijing Jia Jiang Mien and side dishes in a restaurant. After which we headed down for some shoppin. At 10pm whe all the shops closed we head back to our crappy hotel with loads of tidbits, whisky, a deck of cards and some mixers and that was when the "REAL" party started. Got high and was forced to gobble down a mix of milk biscuits, 3/4 filled papercup of whisky, sprite and greentea by losing a game 7up le 5'10. Day 3 (today): Last nite was super! This morning we woke up and grabbed some biscuits for breakkie. Yeah crappy..i know.. Headed down to the BeiJing Sports school. Had a quick orientatuon around the facilities and had the opportunity to play handball with the national womens team. Saw the guys team too..they were OH-BOY aggresive, tall and fast! Saw the olympic wrestling mens national team too and rounded the afternoon off with the "athletes" lunch at the cook house. 1/2 and hr more and we would be going to another sports school here. It supposedly the 2nd biggest school that has a facility of an aerotrack and indoor hockey court. We are gonna check out the athletes in action for track and field, table tennis, freestyling, gymnastics, weightlifting and etc. I AM EXCITED! After which we are gonna go eat Peking Duck and more sports shopping to come! Oh yeah..No party for tonite. Tomolo is gonna be a blissful day..hoping to run to the Heavenly Temple. Cant wait for my weekend to the Bird nest and Great wall of china too.. Oh yea!!! tell u more when i get back..will try to upload my photos ASAP on facebook soon. Ciao..cheerios people! michelle.verma at 1:20:00 PM Day 1 of BeiJing Olympic Internship: Roads with olympics logos embedded on them, Bilboards with perfect athlete poses marking every landmarks. Yeah I'm tired from the long restless journey from singapore to macau to beijing with all the tight security check that kept on stopping me. The weather ahs been a super hot of 34 degress and the air is friggin polluted. The people here are sorta rude but forced to put a smiley on their faces due to the upcomin games. Weelll all these are made bearable with the astounding comaradarie and my awesome roomie....btw We now put up in out cosy HAUNTED room..or soo....we tried takin pics of the closet that just wouldnt let us take pics of it totally open. I should say with less than 3 hrs to go, and probably no sleep i am still rather excited for tomolos internship at the beijing sport institute;) im off to hunt around.. out and away! michelle.verma at 2:55:00 AM So i fell into the trend of the art of body-piercing and just got a stud on my navel. It was preety painless and looked cool. Made friends with the funky nepali piercer and thanks to Rocky, i've got a video of the whole process which i would soon upload on my facebook;) So....Exactly 12 hrs before i fly off to the city of the "Bird nest". Looking forward to pyjamas partyin with my roomie-to-be. We have decided to walk the whole forbidden city during our free time and shop till we drop..i will try to take loads of photos for you guys..lalalalala! AWESOME STUFF! Lets bring out the alcohol and smoke weed;)! Oh yeaaa! michelle.verma at 9:01:00 PM I can’t wait to wake up on sunday morning, only to head for the airport in anticipation for what is to come my way for the next 2 1/2 weeks. I would try to keep you guys updated with the daily happenings as an intern through my daily rants. I am seriously hyped up to see the top notch athletes, all on one global platform- performing under tremendous amounts of pressure. I consider it an honor and a privilege to be able to be a part of this wonderful event.I just can't imagine a better place for me to be this July-August: the summer Olympics in BeiJing...here i come! michelle.verma at 12:40:00 AM I am building a fire with everydays experience. I'm adding more fuel to my life and at just the right moment, I am gonna light the match to continually live my life with undying passion. Yesterdays trip to Sentosa was awesome with Evgeny and George- although we didnt' manage to get our hands on the surfboards, we did some cool snooping around the island followed by good dinner accompanied with some chilled beers. This morning, I started it of dwith a 120km ride with Cheekoon-my fellow IMWA training mate, at 8.30am! I am really thankful for all his pushing and motivation throughout the 4hrs ride. Im looking forward to doing more of this mate;) After I got home, I was about to have some shut eye when I recalled that Aizan needed help for the National School Sports Climbing Championships. So, I made my way down to the really "out-of-the-way" Meridian JC and managed to catch up with some ol friends who were there last year too. Did some speed climbing belaying and emceeing. It was preety much worthwhile. Let see what i should do tonight ....perharps I would head to the beach and chill over beer again!:D
*To De man of "IRON" Thomas Haibel: Hey dandy-I'm so proud of you on your completion of the recent Ironman Austria and feel honoured that you still remembered to email me;) Dinner is on me when you drop by Singapore the next! michelle.verma at 8:05:00 PM Yeaaaaa guuuyyyyssss I am super взволнованный! This year has so far been really exhilariting and life changing and i'm sure te coming month are just gonna get betta! I smell a breeze of good life- and astounding aura of victory. Finally off coaching on the weekends- everyone would appreciate and savour that! 8 more days and I'm already off to BeiJing-GASPS! Aite I'm off to Sentosa now to with the Stolyarovas- introducing them to beach patrol paddle boarding and followed by some good food and horror trail walks at Changi later tonite! Bring it on babayes- we should celebrate this with a strawberry, chocholate and wine festival:D! michelle.verma at 12:18:00 PM  You often meet people who forget you. You tend to forget a few people you meet. But sometimes you meet are those people you can't forget. Those are your real friends.Yesterday was a super energizing outing with Hatta and the Stolyarovas once again! Off we went for nite rock climbing, we gorged our our tummies with tantalizign Spize pratas and walked the whole of river valley-orchard-the haunted botanical garden old colonial house back to Holland just to quench our thirst with some refreshing pineapple juice and coffee at 4am in the morning. AWESOME stuff! can't wait to do more of these stuff! michelle.verma at 5:30:00 AM The past weekend with the Stolyarovas was fun spirited and filled with Innocent amusements:- those that excite moderately, and such that produce a cheerful frame of mind, not boisterous mirth; refreshes the soul, instead of exhausting the system; invigorating in body and spirit; those that we can partake in the presence of respectable friends; those that amusing and favorable.  ----Bukit Timah Hike- EastCoast Chill- FortCanning Horror-Holland Prata!--- michelle.verma at 12:29:00 PM  Hmmm...so i've been in a real foul mood with loads of decisions just hanging on my mind since monday- as you can see from my previous post. Not to worry: I will survive. Well... I know that whatever step i take next aint gonna be easy, but I need it and thank God i got a months' break to think about situations. Being a grown up is getting seriously pathetic and tiring. Why do adults always have to be so serious. Can't I just live in a disguise and stay a kid forever? But too bad I ain't a coward. No way am I running away from anything- Its not an option. One may understand the cosmos, but never the ego; the self is more distant than any star. Я устал от всего этого дерьма, распутников! But on the bright side, i feel so liberated walking around publicly in my new personally designed and printed "Хуй войне! " tee;) michelle.verma at 1:02:00 AM Now , who are you playing with? Why are you always saying the things you can't keep to? All this bullocks about good teamwork, communication and your faith- Give it up dude! You put the term religion to shame. I realise compromise is crap and it should only be a last resort. It getting on my nerves. So what now? Just calm down and keep silent while i die of insomia trying to think of ways to keep faithful and try to show love hypocritically? This is quite sad! Its hard to leave but why am i even staying? Its not gettin any easier? I'm numbering the days to when i break out. The time is definitely getting narrower. Things are gettin pretty faded from all your broken words. I ain't gonna hide, cry or be scared. No big secret is gonna be left unspoken. There is neither gonna be warm fuzzy talks or silence feinted in the corner. I am just gonna be myself- FRANK and ever ready to lash out!
michelle.verma at 1:28:00 AM Oh yea..juz bought my new babaye Zoot Women's ULTRA TT Running Shoes.  Hopefully this would give me more motivation to run in preparation for my Ironman Western Aussieland! Gonna bring this babaye for my BeiJing Trip too;) Well the past weekend and today has been full of ups but with some downs and stagnations too. Had a great interview for the National Youth Achievement Award but some unhappiness with work stuff. I need pay raise and something not so mundane!!! STREETCHH MEE!!!! CHALLENGE MEE!!!!  Я начинаю ненавидеть "БОССА"! Я болен и утомлен всем этим дерьмом! Apart from that, yesterday I rebonded my hair and i'm friggin hwappy witht he end product:D *grins!*Today.. I had a great timeout with Shan- swimmin, shoppin and dining. Also as usual-been out late till the wee hours in the mornin kopi-ing. Anyways, I'm off to be a book junkie and read this awesome book entitled "The last lecture" by Randy Pausch highly recomended by Shan. There are images I need to complete my own reality. michelle.verma at 12:06:00 AM My life this week has been dipped and coated in some good, warm, sunny smiles of myself. I'm tired but extremely hwappy! This week has been great even for the fact i've been coming home in the wee hrs of the mornin due to my late nightouts cycling or kopi-ing. i think im starting to feel the stress of it on my body. Like yesterday morning I came back home at at 6am but had an OVerNight blast out with Evgeny, Lenor, YQ and Hatta! “Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you” -Nathaniel Hawthorne- *Anyways i juz found out from Lenor that most of Таtу makes no sense in their lyrics for both their russian and english translation...but who cares..the still sound and look great;) michelle.verma at 12:19:00 AM All these crazy schemes is giving me loads of funny and weird feelings man. I'm hwappy but all these happenings are bound to give me some gushes of spine tingling feelings.. I'm grinnign with happiness.:D All i can say is that it's all complex Who cares honestly.... Everything i'm dreaming about is slowly fallin into place like a big jigzaw that just needs some time to be solved. So bleessseeed i can't contain it! michelle.verma at 12:26:00 AM Very well, i've started to reflect on the past few months and have come to some consensus that: There is no shortage of good days with good experiences with good, happening, exuberant and positive people that let you live a good life. Too many good stuff ey. Waking up everyday feeling happy is one of the things i missed the most and i'm glad that eveything now is turning out preety much okay. "Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart” --Eleanor Roosevelt--
michelle.verma at 3:43:00 AM I have recently learnt to receive every day as a new enjoyment of life. I realised I am really blessed with unique opportunities to meet truly special friends that never fail to make my social life more entertaining and interesting. Today was really really fruitful and well spent with awesome company once again. My normal sunday routine is turning out to be quite addictive. Though i skipped the mornin 5am cycle with cheekoon, i climbed preety hard from 10-2 with Shan; had lunch with her and mumsie over at my place, met Hisham to pass him his jammers, climbed 3 different trails at Bukit Timah in the rain with Hatta and the cherry on the top was Dinner(Chizar) and Drinks with the Evegeny, Lenor, George and YQ at newton. Thank God YQ waz sober enuff to ride his motorbike and send me home in one piece. I am really excited for this coming Thursdays' Dinner Nite out Le' Shisha, Saturdays' Clubbing and Sunday Climbs! *Another awesome news is that i'm on leave for nearly the whole month of december and am planning a trip with Shan for 2 full weeks. Hip Hip Hurray. Moscow or Europe?! Here we come. To shan: I am so glad you and my mumsie can get along really really well. She loves ya to bit despite. I am really glad our kinship is stronger now than ever before. You're an incredible friend that i would definitely not wanna lose in my lifetime. Bitches unite;) I adore your frankness and thats what make you so special- at the top of my list of best friends. michelle.verma at 12:36:00 AM The awful sound of silence: Sometimes, I scream and no sound comes out. I’m afraid that one day, a noise so loud would shatter my head in replacement. It’s my secret……………………so far...... michelle.verma at 12:00:00 AM Aquaduckies Goofin Around-Relocation of Adam and Lola: And so i did shed a few teardrops today. I know i'm not supposed to have favourites. But these 2 french kids, I juz cant resist adoring them so much and loving them to bits despite their frequent michieves;). Its just amazing when the young ones impact your live so much unexpectedly. I'm so gonna mwisse them when they are away in the netherlands. muaxkkk kiddos- You 2 will always be champions in my eyes.    michelle.verma at 7:28:00 PM Today is a happy day for me...actually a bittersweet day.
To my late buddy Blenheim: Eventhough you've left us early, I haven't forgotten today is your birthday. I miss you and love ya loads. Hope you're flying a nice plane up in the heavens above. Hwappy Birthday dude;) So anyways..I can't wait for this weekend. It's gonna be jammed pack with another Russian Nite Out, some rock climbing and cycling, Pubbing with good ol desserts...im just sooo excited.. Oh yeah;) michelle.verma at 7:16:00 PM
"Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality . Wake Up and Live!” -Bob Marley-
michelle.verma at 10:31:00 AM Awesomnest Peel' Myeni & Shisha: Russian Nite Out at the Stolyarovas:D All we needed was some good whiskycola, whisky green tea, martini grapefruitmixers, martinicola, drinks on the rocks, couple of beers, good peel' myeni, bestest company u can ever ask for, good photos with love from russia, MOS UK music blasting the house, perfect authentic UAE shisha of different flavours and a great pair of hands to make our own home made meal to keep us warm in the not so wintery Singapore:D I'm starting to smell my trip to moscow next year perharps. Thanks Evgeny, Lenor and George!..or an YQ too..for the craziness all the time! It was the best day in the week man! *P.s. I took the lucky peel' myeni-FILLED WITH DOUGH!!:D Apart from that, yesterdays' shoppin with cheekoon was also a fruitful one. Bought couple of stuff, ate 5 jalepeno peppers straight for no reason during lunch...that was cool shiot man! hahaha ermm i'm feeling really high now but hahahahaha its all good man. Coffee and junkets with Hatta till 5am + tis morning was also ended with a preety spontaneous and amusing thing. 2 closely tied baloons that was filled with deflated helium fell exactly on the playground- at the place we were sitting. Woooooaahhh..cool shiots eyyy! I'm happy!              michelle.verma at 12:06:00 PM -----------tonight..net net..dis morning..was totally fun:D awesome stuff man! details later!--------- michelle.verma at 5:24:00 AM So... no biking this morning coz of the downpour. I think if you look at any facet of nature in enough detail, you find it fascinating. How could you not? The universe is so full of marvels. Here's an example -- rain, the shape of rain. I was minding my own business at 5am, looking out the window, and it was raining and I was noticing that the raindrops were falling in that classic round-looking way, and I thought, 'I wonder if raindrops really are round?' So I started researching it a little, and I discovered that raindrops change shape 300 times a second.
Sometimes I see myself as a child in a rain storm, running around trying to catch all the drops in his mouth. I long for your adventures to be like the raindrops the child saves and not those which crash to the ground. michelle.verma at 9:23:00 AM I'm hoping God would grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I'm gonna hold my head up high saying everything's fine. There are people out there with situations 1000times worst than mine. Let me just learn to love once again, as I was first loved by Him. Now now now, I'm off to bed for tomolos 90km bike time trial before the 160km Ipoh charity bike ride in 20day time. GASP! After the hard bike workout, my day is gonna be followed by an awesome party at Evgeny's house- the Russian Way! Vodka, Whisky and super food:D I'm Excited! No partyin or kopi-ing for me tonite however:( Good news for today: I'm soon gonna be a certified coach by the American Swim Coach Association.... Apart from that....straight after my Beijing Olympics Internship I'll be off for a 10days Phuket-Krabi Family Vacation:D Sorry Tilly ...I can't fly to Darwin with ya afterall. Next year, you and me in Moscow. Let's try to go see Таtу live! I want Таtу to come to Singapore:( Anyways babe i'll be seeing ya before flying off to BeiJing so its time to party again:D michelle.verma at 12:00:00 AM We all know, from what we experience with and within ourselves, that our conscious acts spring from our desires and our fears.
We all try to escape pain as we seek what is pleasant. We are all ruled in what we do by impulses. Hunger, love, pain, fear are someinner forces which rule an individual's instinct for self preservation. At the same time, as social beings, we are moved in the relations with our fellow beings by such feelings as sympathy, pride, hate, need for power, pity, and so on. All these primary impulses are not easily described in words. Thoughts are the only organising factor in man. It is an intersection between our instincts and the resulting actions. In that way imagination and intelligence enter into our existence. michelle.verma at 7:04:00 PM We all live our lives behind countless numbers of masks! Can you see me now? Can you tell me why I'm feeling down? Can you blame me? Can you help? Why do i feel I'm endlessly waiting to know that the truth is gonna prevail one day? Can you open up your eyes?
Can you take those worries from me? Why exactly do I want now? I've got a clear conscious but I don't know bout ya. I am confused. Don't ask me why. I'm tired. Is it time for me to tune off. Maybe I should just Smile, Unleash and turn my back away. michelle.verma at 10:44:00 AM And deep down hearing the silent raindrops,
Within my soul. I paint a scene. I draw it so silently. What do i yearn? What did i learn? What does it mean? What do i see? Is this potrait made of anger, is it made with fear Or just made with love, wishing so near. The hidden messages abound; within its walls my soul speaks. And today, as I had a thought Did it make me wonder; feel overwrought I have basically figured; you might feel the same And here we both play that hiding game with a wall of silence prevailing till this day. michelle.verma at 1:03:00 AM Odd how much it hurts when a friend moves away- and leaves behind only silence. Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. Its like they opens your chest and open up your heart. Only to know they would get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then that person, no different from any others, wanders into your life...takes the piece of you and bluntly say they didn't ask for it. Well seasons change, friends move away, and life goes on from day to day. Flowers fade and streams go dry and many times we wonder why. I'm not gonna be regretful anymore. All was not in vain. Faces of people will melt away and go out. Even if things were to ever get better, honest replies will never be returned. michelle.verma at 12:05:00 AM After spending countless hours watchin loads of тату videos, interviews and finding out scoops on their history, i have concluded that :
No two men see the world exactly alike, and different temperaments will apply in different ways a principle that they both acknowledge. The same man will, indeed, often see and judge the same things differently on different occasions: early convictions must give way to more mature ones. Nevertheless, may not the opinions that a man holds and expresses withstand all trials, if he only remains true to himself and others? Don't you sometimes feel that society looks at you and shakes ther head hanging low just to criticise every single thing you do Like we are all standing in aline waiting for our judgement and no matter wadever you say or do- you still get shot down. Well, where's the love people? Why can't we all just live together and love one another. Does it make you feel betta to look down on another person? Why cant' we instead put the person on higher grounds an praise him? Wouldnt that be betta. All of us wants to feel good. michelle.verma at 12:05:00 PM Oh Yes, temptation abounds in every corner in our lives! Jus as i passed 1 whole week of no alcohol for me, drinking a whole bottle of chilled martini, a couple bottles of heineken with munchies on the playground sounded like a splendid idea. And that was just wad me and hatta did til 5am dis mornin. It was even better than clubbing. We played spin the bottle, talked some super crap stuff, watched youtube in the middle of the nite on my laptop- It was really a nite to sorta remember with a friend like that. Although I got home totally tipsy and am dealin wit a massive hangover now. Darn I need to stop this man. Oh yea yesterdays rock clibmbing with Gwen and Audsie was goo too:D           michelle.verma at 5:09:00 PM There may be a time in life when one is tired of everything and feels as if all one does is wrong, and there maybe some truth in it. do you think this is a feeling one must try to forget and to banish, or is it 'the longing for God,' which one must not fear, but cherish to see if it may bring us some good? Is it 'the longing for God' which leads us to make a choice which we never regret? Let us keep courage and try to be patient and gentle. And not mind being eccentric, and make distinction between good and evil. michelle.verma at 2:13:00 PM
To my " funny, cheerful pain:D": It is simply not necessary to make an illusions for yourself. Behave the way you want to. Its life! Different nights, different people, Wants- doesn't want, bites-doesn't bite, loves - doesn't love), Someone will be left alone, someone will jump off, Someone will get tired and be fed up. Someone will spin wires from a cleat Someone will start new themes Someone will show off, someone would act like a maniac, Someone is like you, someone is like me. Don't start a fire and extinguish it. Don't believe, don't be afraid Don't ask and calm down Somebody makes his enemies his friends Somebody goes down into the dust under feet Somewhere there's much of what is little But round the roads there will be a raid Somebody will risk, and somebody will not be able to do so Somebody will understand, but won't be able to help Somebody will leave, somebody will come back Somebody will a new sun, somebody will run Somebody like you, somebody like me. michelle.verma at 12:20:00 AM ПривЕт! Как поживаешь? (Hi! How ya doing people?) So i have recently been addicted to the extend of how complexed the russian language is. Thanks to Evgeny and Mira who teaches me a few words here and there, i have also been listening to alot of Тату songs and found them pretty fantastic. *P.s. Yulia Volkova(Юлия Олеговна Волкова)is preety darn super hawt.
Apart from that, this week has been good. I laid off clubbing, went for late nite coffees and cycles once again. Did some rock climbing and jogging. Met up with lots of ol pals made some great plans, had fun at work and cant wait for Saturday nite to come fast:D michelle.verma at 10:44:00 PM When your spirit is low; when the day appears dark; when work becomes monotonous and when hope hardly seems worth having. Its best just to mount your bicycle and go out for a spin down the roads to the seaside in the wee hours of the morning, without thought on anything other than the ride you are taking- with songs from your mp3 that buzzes life's light and hope. Freeewheeling is the word!
michelle.verma at 12:06:00 PM What makes a person interesting?
Is it what he does or what people say of him? Is it the wide range of topics he could discuss over moon and coffee? Is it how long he could keep my attention to focus on him? Is it an interesting combination of traits that suits him? Or, is it his sheer brilliance? A man is interesting if he eludes me. Then again, he is interesting because I decide for him to be so. michelle.verma at 10:48:00 PM Dang! I'm turnin into a trance addict thanks to recently gearing up in my clubbing routines.
Now on my playlist are mixes from dj tiesto, armin van buuren, paul van dyk and t.a.t.u. I think trance music is the only music you can listen to without taking drugs. You can really feel the emotions in it. You can get on another level without the drugs. Trust me. It gives you the 'high' feeling and you just get totally lost in the music leading you to doing some crazy stuff;)! AWesomme stufff man! michelle.verma at 9:57:00 PM I was pumped after a 6B route and 11 different laps, but i still had an attittude to complete a few boulder routes.. I climbed. I endured. I was sure of every foothold. ...Till... my whole skin peeled of my finger with plasma oozing out. LOL. But well this is what you would do for the lil things you enjoy and love doing in life. *Thankx Shan, Liz, Bjorn for the awesome company at dinner and during the climb.
michelle.verma at 12:42:00 PM Think that this is just another quiet wasted night when the television steals the conversation? Feeling tired? Thought you took another wasted breath? Think you've gone unnoticed? Feel like youre gonna break? Out of touch, out of time? Feeling empty? Having mixed signals?
EXHALE! Time has been spread so thin and its just a few more minutes till the new day begins. You're gonna be fine. michelle.verma at 10:36:00 PM
Seedless Dragon Fruit, Rotten Strawberries and Banana Crumble Galz Nite Out!
  In this photo: Joanne, Lejing, Me, Danielle,Twangy michelle.verma at 9:12:00 PM I was always seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one. If I were to look down twenty years from now I would definitely be more disappointed by the things that I didn't do than by the ones you did do. So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable. So I am gonna throw off the bowlines, Sail away from the safe harbor and Catch the trade winds in my sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover. This dream i'm dreaming, I would really wanna claim it and keep it alive. All things are possible for those who believe. michelle.verma at 11:55:00 AM People get all mixed up about flamboyant labels. We love labels. We really do--as a society, I mean. It's so much easier to understand the world around us if we name it, tie it down, and distance ourselves from the parts we don't like. We all want to beloved, we all want to love, and we all want. Some just WANT IT MORE; and would go to extreme measure to get that fame, glory and love- thats what makes them ultimately obnoxious and goose-bumpy to hang around with. As Anthony Rapp once said, “Labels are for cans, not people.”
michelle.verma at 12:17:00 PM We often meet people who forget us and we ourselves often forget people we meet, but sometimes when we meet people we can't forget- Those are our true friends.
These true friends are the ones that we find it hard to disintegrate from our hearts-even if they leave our life for awhile- even with years apart, the friendship is easily picked up right where we left off. Even if they were to die, they will never be dead in our hearts. They are the one who knows the song in our hearts and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.        michelle.verma at 8:59:00 PM Few delights can equal the mere presence of people we find joy in hanging out with. This week has been fun and extraordinary. I am enjoying it thoroughly. Tilly Billy is in Singapore for the holz. Oh yea! P.s. We are missing you Annewil Boekel, but remember even miles can seperate our love for ya!      michelle.verma at 1:57:00 AM Inspiration: Everybody wants to go to a club rather than eat potato chips on the couch. You cant blame me- I cant dance but I sure can club. Bouncing your head up and down, moving the feet around, feeling the rhythm, downing tonnes of drinks; You feel the scream!      michelle.verma at 12:26:00 PM To make a mountain of your life Is just a choice But I never learned enough To listen to the voice that told me Always love? Hate will get you every time Don't wait til the finish line Slow demands come 'round Squeeze the air and keep the rest out It helps to write it down Even when you then cross it out Even when you wanna fight Self-directed lives I want to know what it?d be like to Aim so high above "There are things that are known and thing that are unknown, and in between, there are doors." -William Blake-
michelle.verma at 1:19:00 AM I'm convinced that we can write and live our own scripts more than most people will acknowledge. We are the creative force of our life, and through our own decisions rather than our conditions, if we carefully learn to do certain things, we can accomplish those goals. As Anthony Robbins says: "Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human." To Vicky: Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Today and every other day you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is You-er than You.
michelle.verma at 12:33:00 AM To all those lost souls who have forgotten to believe in the immensity and power of fear: "There’s no shame in being afraid. Hell, we’re all afraid. But what you gotta do, is figure out what you’re afraid of, because, when you put a face on it, you can beat it. Better yet, you can use it."
michelle.verma at 1:52:00 AM To shan: I am glad we confronted things that happend the year before. To have stuck our heads in the sand would have defintely been the wrong approach. It was really great that we figured out what went wrong and why it when wong- addressed the issues and moved on to become stronger friends. Altough its hard for people to change all their way ive gotta say youre still one of my bestest frank biotchy buddy, that i would never trade for anyone else. Just wanna tell ya I love ya to bits and that I've really been enjoying these few weeks trainin and catchin up with ya. Muaxkkkzzzz A rejuvenating lifesaving Sunday morning with Team STA. Its been a while, but feels like Zeeennnnnnnnn once i was back in the water.:D Managed to keep up with the team after last nites climbing session which pretty much pumped me up. Did some difficulty and speed routes, a lil lead climbing and rounded the day with midnite kopi session. Anyways going out of point, all i gotta say its that i just realised how friggin small the world is. Remember 6 degrees of separation? Now this is all sinking into me..Everyone know everyone else...how scary is that;) hahaha.       michelle.verma at 2:09:00 PM        michelle.verma at 1:16:00 PM These few weeks I was caught with flactuating feelings but generally all in all it turned out well and good. I ended up meeting new and different characters and even had time to catch up with long lost pals admist my hectic schedules of tests, classes and work. On top of that, I was just trying to resolve and understand as to why so much pain come into peoples life unexpectedly leading us to always strive to crush negative situations to the ground beneath our feet. My conclusion was that : Maybe we all like the pain somedays. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.
michelle.verma at 12:18:00 AM Sometimes people write the things that they can't say. At the end of the day, you are who you are, and it's probably who you've always been. The heart knows reason which reason does not know.
michelle.verma at 12:31:00 AM Remember those days when we were a little younger and all we’ve got to do is to have fun, fun and more fun. But what happens when all of a sudden everyone gets busy, so busy we even forget to have fun? -This post is written in memory of all my ex classmates especially blenheim, whom i'm missin badly: Hope you're doin well in heaven.- michelle.verma at 12:54:00 PM Sometimes people put up walls, not to keep people away, but to see who cares enough to tear those walls down. Like what P.H. White once said: "Perhaps we all give the best of our hearts uncritically, to those who hardly think about us in return". Realize now that when your heart breaks, you got to fight like hell to make sure your still alive. Because you are. And that pain you feel? That's life. The confusion and fear? That's there to remind you, that somewhere out there is something better, and that something is worth fighting for. michelle.verma at 8:09:00 PM So I happened to chance upon my pals' blog (Joanne Soo) and found it really really scary yet beautifully written- It was something that I was just thinking about recently. So here it goes.
"What drives me? I ponder on it many times. Has it been love, power, money, fear? A friend once told me that it is fear that drives her to accomplish what seems impossible to her. I believe everyone is guided by different motivations, such as external pressures or rewards (which I doubt its effectiveness), or the forces that comes from within (Love? a kind of emotion?). The forces within - I’ll call this passion - a deep personal interest. I am a passion believer. Passion gives me a reason to act and helps to motivate my action. It must coupled with commitment and determination, as passion can be drained by many things like demanding competitions, lacking resources, negative feedback just to name a few. My passion for adventure and the wilderness has bring me this far. I would not say that I have accomplished much or even enough, all I want is, for this passion to be channelled to new outlets. And I must say, with conviction, it is never too late to find your passion. So, what drives you? michelle.verma at 12:33:00 AM We fall down and we get hurt, i know i'll stand up again.. i just really need time. For the first time in my life im feeling so helpless. I need God to fill my soul with a desire and longing for HIM. Its' hard. I am not as strong as i thought i had been. Thanks michy: for reminding me that " in our weakness, there He is the strongest". I know you really care but i just need to let go and let Him do it for me coz I have given up the fight.
michelle.verma at 11:17:00 PM
The Sacred Obsession by Becky Tirabassi! Thanks MichyWong for reading it to me on the phone for 3hrs 15 mins...i feel honoured. It really spoke to me and made me ponder about stuff. Its sure one book im gonna invest in to keep me entertained at home since im on 4 days mc and am worried bout lotsa stuff in my life. Btw small mok, I LOVE YA!
michelle.verma at 12:01:00 AM Ever had a dream that seemed so real and they suddenly start to blend in with reality? It's difficult to make decision in life, partly because I never want to be left making a choice eveytime. As days go by, the more stuck I feel. I just like things to stay where they are. This might seem funny and weird and crazy but sometimes I'd like to pretend that things would stay as they are if I don't decide on anything. Yesterday wasn't a good day. It was one of those days when everything was just not right. Just when I thought I found some sort of a direction for me, the reality of life reminded me differently. I felt more lost than ever with the situation. This is draining me physically and emotionally. You know how it goes: just as you're about to take-off from your slumber and meet the busy world, another bad news barricades your door and you're wondering why it so happened and no matter what you still can’t make sense out of anything that's happening. You lose your faith again – in yourself and in the people around you. Then back to your slumber you retire again, nurse your misery and patiently wait for another “right time” to meet the world. This calls for a real big courage to let go of strong emotions so as to be able to get back on track.
michelle.verma at 12:29:00 PM
“It was more than just a comet because of what it brought to his life: direction, beauty… meaning. There are many who couldn't understand, and sometimes he walked among them. But even in his darkest hours, he knew in his heart that someday it would return to him, and his world would be whole again... And his belief in God and love and art would be re-awakened in his heart.” michelle.verma at 1:11:00 AM Life and death is such a weird and supreme irony. Its like a brief candle with both ends burning. Birth, life, and death - each took place on the hidden side of a leaf. Upon hearing news of Jordan's (priscilla's bro in law and jones' bro) fatal motorbike crash that took place last sunday..i was just stunned..and once again how can such a young fit 25 yrs old dude just have left the world so abruptly. Well after a few minutes I receive an SMS regarding the Arrival of my darling ms Chooblet: Alethea 4th May 11pm. Well it just made me understand what ppl meant when they said somethings in life just gotta give. He gives and takes a way and for everything there is a season.  michelle.verma at 5:02:00 PM So just less than 2 months left for my depature to the Beijing Olympic Games 2008, i read a real scary news online. The headlines goes : China says now more than 6,300 cases in viral outbreak that has killed 26 children. "The World Health Organization says the virus normally peaks in June and July so there could still be an increase in infections as the weather warms. The outbreak is another headache for China's Communist government as it prepares to host this summer's Olympic Games." All i can say is that i'm gonna trust God fully to protect me from this epidemic . Psalms 91!! michelle.verma at 9:28:00 PM
michelle.verma at 9:08:00 PM Today i've Pastor Ashley Evans from Paradise Community Church (Adelaide) was the guest speaker at new creation. And just as i needed to hear- the sermon was about taking authority and casting all my intimidation, insecurities and crushing them under our feet. I know I am clothed in the righteousness of Christ and Jesus has just been so good to me. i havent been quite the gurl i wanna be-in the image of Him. I tried hard, and i am still trying. But today pastor evans spoke about breaking free from trangression and he even directed a prayer for Christians who were still feeling a burden and opression in their daily lives. Now these kinda prayers are rarely done in our services, but as soon as i heard that and felt the calling to surrender, I slipped my hand up. With others across the church, we all prayed, speakin in tongues and i sincerely aksed, believe and received strength to let go of my whole life and bad habits, trusting Him to change me. Grace= undeserved and unmerited favour. I really wanna live a spirit led life. FREEDOM! I know I don't deserve anything, but I don't have anything to lose anymore and Jesus is my only hope and He is merciful and graceful enough to deliver me. Also another amazing thing was that we sang the song Healer by Mike Guglielmucci and was miraculously healed from my sore throat this morning. I woke up with totally no voice , but after service i was screaming, yelling and goin all cuckoo once again with nancyo and yq! PRaise God! I really know that the heartbeat of Jesus' heart is to see them being healed, taken-care of and most importantly saved.
You hold my every moment You calm my raging seas You walk with me through fire And heal all my disease I trust in You I believe You're my Healer I believe You are all I need I believe You're my Portion I believe You're more than enough for me Jesus You're all I need My Healer, You're my Healer Nothing is impossible for You You hold my world in Your hands michelle.verma at 4:23:00 PM AQUADUCKIES BBQ ESCAPADE!    michelle.verma at 7:45:00 PM But only our soul is regenerated, the nature of the world is still in our spirit and body because they're of the world and desire the things of the world. Once we're born again, we bring them subject to the Word. -1 John 3:5-6 I know that the Anointing is not just emotions; the anointing is Supreme Power in control-JESUS. And I know as I am still growing up into the life of Christ, I've gotta lay aside my own will, and carnal desires, maturing into the likeness of Him which is by Faith. I am trying.. i really am. But I also realised that so long as we've got a mortal spirits and corruptible body, we'll have problems in our flesh and spirit. But whatever it is I am gonna try to put my mistakes from now onwards, under the Blood- making a restitution wherever possible, and am gonna forget those things which are of the past, pressing towards the mark of Christ's higher calling. We are more than conquerors through Christ Jesus who strengthens us by Spiritual understanding of His Bible, quickening our mortal flesh to the Word, and every One. Faith is our victory, seek greater understanding, for no true believer is any stronger and spiritually alive than his knowledge of and adherence to the pure Word of God michelle.verma at 11:20:00 AM I admit to succumbing to temptation of clubbing last nite..MOS WAS DA BOMB LAST NITE MAN! Had a blast of a time with shan, will, elizabeth, bjorn and company first at brewerkz then at a morrocan shisha pub followed by the club. Did alot of dumb things, as i was kinda high some of i truly regret and feel kinda bad about it, but i know im never ever gonna do it again I promise. I really wanna change to be a salt of the earth but its just hard. there are just many stuff in my life i try to let go off but i find it really difficult to do so. Hopefully God would grant me with strength, self control, protection and wisdom for the rest of the days of my life. Anyways I am really thankful for michy and i really dunno how i could ever ever ever tell you how much i love ya. Thanks for the concern babe. So i got home at 5am this morning, woke up at 9am and was off again to Climb Asia for some route climbing and bouldering with shan and company once again. COmpleted a 6B Routes easily considering i havent climbed hard in ages. I am so glad that my speed and techniques are still slightly there. I miss speed climbing..as a junior obviously. The climbers these days are getting preety good. Got a few open and bloodied bruises around my joints, thanks to the new rough walls. And yes, I was sadistic enough to lick the blood of my knuckles and was still able to do a few push up sets. Pain never felt so good. It took away alot of burdens on my mind by channellin my energy to my sport. Anyways saw Aizan and Amir coaching a school too- might be involved in the Asian Rock Climbing Championship officiating again- hope i would be able to make it. Took loads of photos and had loads of fun once again. Might be off to coffeee tonightee..woots! Cool stuff!             michelle.verma at 12:19:00 PM Going all cuckoobananas with the heat. Woah man..the swim pool has been like a sauna these past few days. Anyways met up with michy again this morning and had a walk-a-dog experience for the first time in my life and I've gotta say its preety cool. rufie and dino are soo adorable..lol. Then took some pics at the dutchie with my kids..Great fun man. Tonite im off to watch a movie nuttylie, brewerkz with peishan and MOS-sing with YQ and maybe Dave. Hopefully michy would turn up too.
     michelle.verma at 6:46:00 PM
Sometimes when you're young, you think nothing can hurt you. Its like being invincible. Your whole life is ahead of you, and you've got big plans; Big plans you'll find your perfect match, the one that completes you. But as you get older, you realize its not always that easy. Its not until the end of your life, that you realize how the plans you made were simply plans. Because at the end, when you're looking back instead of forward, you want to believe that you made the most out of what life gave you.
You want to believe that your leaving something good behind. You want it all to have mattered. michelle.verma at 1:24:00 AM "Heal my heart and make it clean Open up my eyes to the things unseen Show me how to love like you have loved me Break my heart for what breaks yours Everything I am for your kingdom's cause As I walk from earth into eternity" -Hillsong Australia (Saviour King)
michelle.verma at 10:15:00 PM
NITE HIKE @ BUKIT TIMAH in total darkness! Imagine, if you will, hiking up a steep, dark trail in total darkness with a buddy(Hatta), talking crap about life, to keep the night noises at bay, trying desperately hard to avoid falling down to an untimely demise. The REALLY SPOOKY PART for me, however, was not so much the short trail, but getting to the summit and back down safely after backviewing my photos on the camera that i realised was filled with orbs. With no headlamp, just a mars bar, lighter, camera, handphone, tiny waterbottle, hatta's past experience and his burning ciggarete we conquered the humble trek in total darkness. Nearly got loss, but we found our way back on track in the starry nite filled with fireflies that glowed in the dark luminously green and lotsa cobwebs clinging on to my sweat drenched skin. It was an awesome experience and a test of my faith (totally walking like a blind with no clue as to what i was stepping on or what was ahead of me.) Wouldnt have given tonight up for anything else in the world.        michelle.verma at 1:18:00 AM Todays church was spirited man! Darlene Zschech was in the house, leading praise and worship, that had loads of HIS POWER and ANNOINTING! You tore the veil, You made a way. When You said that IT IS DONE. I am not what I ought to be. I am not what I want to be. I am not what I hope to be. But still, I am not what I used to be. And by the grace of God, I am what I am.
michelle.verma at 3:22:00 PM
AQUADUCKIE WEEKEND! QUACK QUACK! So i skipped the mountain race due to the attack of good ol mr sinusitis. Morale of the story?: never mix tequila and coffee together a day before a race. But well I spent my Friday and Saturday rather splendidly. Went out with the Aquaduckies(Evgeny, Leanor and Marina) to Clarke Quay and City hall and spent my saturday workin with philiphy and got to know Emma much betta during the one heck of a party cum BBQ over at Koen's house! Unfortunately we all didnt have our cameras at hand, therefore resorting to using our phones. We got all so high on sugar: Thanks to Ben n Jerry Mint and choc chip ice cream and our funkyness.. or probably my flu drug or....how we made nancy play hide and seek and catchin with us, followed by a slide wave. Hillarious and unforgetable with the prescence of almost everyone and their families. Woohoo!
       michelle.verma at 12:19:00 AM Thank You Lord! You've been so good to me. Woaaahhhh. Yes, my life is different dis week man. A total turnover. PRAISE GOD! God has been so faithful. He has supplied me so much that i am in awe of the abundance he has provided for me. He's the Rock that never crumbles His word never fails man! I got back 7 folds man! The miracle seed that was sowed is reaped! WOOHOOO! God has proven faithful, in Him I can rely. Paid leave for BeiJing, Pay raise, my own department in the company, a cool funky working environment with awesome colleagues.. Woohoo! Okie Mountain Race tomolo... oh yeah.. hopefully i get top 3 to offset my new oakleys limited edition livestrong radar sunglasses. Oh ya anyways Hillsongs United is coming to singapore next month.. OH yea! michelle.verma at 12:17:00 PM michelle wong says 11:49PM: you sound like some piping buzzing ultrasonic tazmanian devil that took too much caffine for its own good bouncing around. *P.s. lol! That sooo true! Hillarious! michelle.verma at 11:50:00 PM God has been sooo Good! My Final Module=A distinction grade. Managed to catch Dr Low in school today. He was the 1st lecturer that took my class and after a long long time, i was exalted to see him so much so i ran and hugged him. I could sense his delight when i showed him my final module grade to still be as good as my 1st grade 2 yrs ago. I am unoficialy the top stoodent for my batch with a score of all merits and distincitions with just 1 pass. I also personally invited him for my graduation. I am finally done with school. I was so exalted I hugged my sociology lecturer and also the admin staff. It was a big load of my chest and I felt a great sense of relieve and peace. All my modules and practicum are all cleared too. Now its just the start of my degree programme in mid July with United States Sports Academy. Woohooo! All glory and honour to God. HALLELUJAH! Well as for now, I've just gotta study for my Singapore Swimming Instructor Exam in early May and party on for tonight.
michelle.verma at 8:40:00 PM
Its been said that the saddest thing a man will ever face is "what might've been". michelle.verma at 10:35:00 AM So much for letting my nets down for a haul. I feel i am in the boat with Peter and Jesus and my net is about to explode as all the fishes are being directed to my vessel. I need help in making choices and decisions. I am just awed by the oppurtunites i got just a day after planting my miracle seed in church. Thank You Lord, for you provide Exceedingly, abundantly above all that i could ask or think of.
*To a special someone: Not every obstacle is meant to be overcomed alone. I'll be there for ya when it get rough.Slowly but surely you'll get through it. It's hard for me to tell you but i never want to see you hurt. I'll be watching your back. Trust me. One day you''ll see it for yaself! michelle.verma at 9:53:00 PM I come in here and I sit in silence and hear the echoes of who we wanna be. Make a wish and place it in your heart...anything you want - everything you want. Do you have it? Good. Now believe it can come true. You never know where the next miracle is gonna... the next miracle is gonna come from, the next smile, the next wish come true. But if you believe that it's right around the corner...and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the certainty of it...You just might get the thing you're wishing for. The world is full of magic, you just have to believe in it. So make your wish. Do you have it? Good. Now believe in it with all your heart! Imagine that future moment in your life where all your dreams come true. You know it's the greatest moment of your life and you get to experience it with one person. Who's standing next to you?
michelle.verma at 1:19:00 PM Hey small mokie! Youre gonna be aite babe! Worry is a think stream of fear which, if encouraged, becomes a wide channel into which all other thoughts flow. Assume an attitude of positive expectancy and claim your healing! I believe once you have overcome that, you will perform great works, not just by strength, but by the perseverance that made you a stronger gurl! Love ya Mok Ying Rong!
 michelle.verma at 11:09:00 PM
Every person is a new door to a different world. An emotion as much tells you nothing about reality, beyond the fact that something makes you feel something.
           michelle.verma at 9:53:00 AM Ah, the truth, the time and knowledge of always being there for them and hearing them out, what a thing it is! I've always sacrificed so much for my close friends and when they snap back at you, its the hardest sting you take-smats badly. God! is all this waiting and trusting worth it? I hope it is. It better be, in fact. I feel the mask philosphy i believe in and held closely to my heart is startin to acting up in mylife once again! Just because im hyper and enthu 24'7, i've got my own hurts too. I need some lone time! TIME OUT! michelle.verma at 11:27:00 PM
3 simple words yet so hard to grasp! LOVE, PEACE and JOY! I always thought in every of our life's decisions it would be hard to make choices..but today someone reminded me of 3 simple words that might sound tacky but its meaning is full of depth and power. I got remind that all i;ve gotta do when making a decision is to feel God's Peace and that if my heart is joyful, loving what I do, IT IS God's Plan for me! michelle.verma at 12:59:00 AM "And God is able to make ALL grace abound towards ME, that I always having ALL sufficiency in everything may abound to EVERY good work." 2 Corinthians 9:8
michelle.verma at 5:40:00 PM To MichyWrongCantSing;):
michelle.verma at 2:37:00 AM Going back to church after a long time was awesome..i could just feel the aura of God's glory, honour, goodness and favour all around me. It was rejuvenating! WOOHOO! Im letting go and living and trusting that his will is gonna be done on earth as it is in heaven. You are my strength when I am weak You are the treasure that I seek You are my all in all Seeking You as a precious jewel Lord, to give up I'd be a fool You are my all in all Taking my sin, my cross, my shame Rising up again I bless Your name You are my all in all When I fall down You pick me up When I am dry You fill my cup You are my all in all Jesus, Lamb of God Worthy is Your name Jesus, Lamb of God Worthy is Your name michelle.verma at 8:24:00 PM So today..im finally using contact lenses and my 21st birthday 360deg midnite cable skiing escapade pics are finally up..these are preety awesome stuff man that has been happening man..
and on the off key- i just found out my 2 yrs old student has been diagnosed with cancer of the kidney. Why is the world made in such a way. This is way too much suffering for such an innocent soul.I will be praying for ya Jillian-youre God's beloved child!          michelle.verma at 12:58:00 AM When a friend is close to ya and is special.. its amazing what your gut promptings could do just to cheer her up. Yesterday was great. On Saturday nite i had a prompting to use my creativity and with to prepare something out of the blues for michy.. and wala.. on Sunday(monday morning actually-1am) i realised it was just the right time to pass the stuff to her. So without much hesistation i called richy boy and both of us cycled down to her ULU-ated house to "deliver it to her" AT 1AM in the morning! I was tired but i knew that it would cheer her up and that would have given me much rest to see her smile. We reached there in 5mins but took 10 mins trying to find the exact house of hers. It was like a big messy maze..but hey after all it was great to see her all so excited, unwrapping the gift with 'giorgio' and 'armani' gaying about with no barks trying to eat the wrappins. Okie well job was done and off we went to cycle to South Bouna vista for some good ol prata and kopi o peng over a chat, after which we cycled back home and decided we should do more wee hrs cycling. The breeze and weather was perfect and it actually helped me ride faster especially uphill. Thanks Rocket boy! Hope you like the gift michy..coz ure practically the first person i actually cycled for-- at unearthly hours. It was sure something memorable. *Ps darlings, i am now a VIP member of both Ministry of Sound and Gotham pent house.. so if youre i a mood for clubbing and discounts of drinks u can come look for me;)
michelle.verma at 11:21:00 AM If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be IT.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are NOT as fat as you imagine. Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing every day that scares you. Sing. Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss. Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself. Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch. Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone. Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own. Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don't follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out. Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth. But trust me on the sunscreen. michelle.verma at 10:17:00 PM Its been exactly 1 yr and 3 days since youre gone Thad..and though i was never close to ya, i was sitting on my bed for 4 whole hours reading the book(Running the FULL distance: Thaddeus by Belinda Wee; SPH publishings) on your life, written by your auntie and i am just overwhelmed with differing emotions. Your story had also brought back memories of 2 of my other close budies who passed away in the span of 3 yrs, one just 1 month after you. I would never want anything like that to happen again, especially to my close buddies in the triathlon scene (esp. big and small mooks and vicky). I miss you thaddeus cheong wing kit, ian ng and blenheim tan ri kai.
michelle.verma at 4:22:00 PM People come and people go; In and out of your life. and so... When one shines bright among the rest; And is there when needed, you’re truly blessed. We love to get crazy from time to time, that's what friends are supposed to do But when times get rough never ever doubt that you can count on me. That is how I see you- friend of mine. *anyways i'm really glad your were there with me for the SI Course. PRAISE GOD!! WOOHOO!
  michelle.verma at 7:16:00 PM It was boulderactive 2008 climbing competition this morning and i totally forgot all about it till Hatta reminded me at 11ish-too badd it wasss tooo late by then...NO REGRETS though: just wanted my climbing singlet.Lol. Haven't touched the rocks in ages. Time to get back to my last 30 pages of assignment. Hopefully i can get some rest tonight.
michelle.verma at 7:55:00 PM
michelle.verma at 12:18:00 AM Holland Village Getaway till 1am! Being talkitive is one word that encompasses me and im glad that most of the pals ive had have always been gregarious, fun loving, witty and have all have had a set of values in live with an astounding amount of quirkiness. We all love living life to its fullest. Chilling over coffee, some good ol beer and having leisure time outs together is just a way we spend some quality time together getting to know each another and knowing newer pals. It was cool last nite.. had a great chat with friends and we even got to meet zoe tay and take a photo with that humble mediacorp princwess. Oh ya before i forget.. i've bought a new 2XU full piece triathlon suit (model: elite endurance) for my Ironman Western Australia 2008. Its just a baby step to give me motivation in getting ready for the triathlon pilgrimage of all times.. Next would be my wetuit. Will take a pic in it soon. I am slowly getting back on track with my tots and dreams once again. Edith Cowan Univesity would be startin in October..woohoo..Im off to muggin for my last 2 assignments before graduation. Wish me luck!
    michelle.verma at 10:12:00 AM To My Rock in Whom I trust: Bear me on the breath of dawn, Make me to shine like the sun, And hold me in the palm of Your Hand. Under Your Wings I find my refuge, And Your faithfulness is my shield. Guard me in all of my ways. I am tired and im casting all my anxieties on You coz you love me. I will run and not grow weary. I will walk and not faint. I believe and I receive! Amen! Here I am waiting, Abide in me I pray... Hide me in Your love... Come live in me, All my life,Take over Come breathe in me and I will rise on eagle’s wings.
michelle.verma at 8:45:00 PM Whenever your down, depressed, sad and am not sure what you're living for or why you're worrying so hard,: STOP! CLOSE YOUR EYES! BREATHE and behold!-- remind yourself of the very air you're breathing right now. It is this very same air you breathe everyday. Did you realise it? It was always there, yet you took the presence of it for granted. The list of things goes on. Just how many other situations and stuff are there in your life that you have not given thanks for? Think of the great stuff instead of all your negativity. Tell yourself you're are an awesome being. Believe it! To Vicky: Never continue in something you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you will love your life and most importantly you'll have inner peace. And if you have that you will have more success than you could possibly imagine. To Michy: If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to younder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible to you. Live and Let Go! Put it in HIS hands...EVERYTHING! JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL! michelle.verma at 10:03:00 PM Summer camp with SmallMokieRongo!
In a nutshell i had lotsa fun with that small migid like gurl. Love ya SmallMokieRongo! Cant wait till next summer camp. Bungy jumpin off the trees! I Love You Mok Ying Rong my unbabe! michelle.verma at 8:29:00 PM My new le-Parkour addiction: It's different, in essence, from other runs! Agility, speed, flexibility, mental awareness and coolness is my definition of free running- the new sport im addicted to. All the smooth and fluid flips, cartwheels, monkey vaults, superman or dive roll, round offs, climbing and jumping off buildings is athletic and aesthetically pleasing to anyones eyes..woohoo. In this run, the mind must be strong, you gauge the precision that your body and take and execute it in style, groove and calmness.  michelle.verma at 10:10:00 PM Hey babes (you know you you are--Rongo, Michy, Christel and everyone whom it speaks too)! Believe deep down in your heart that you're destined to do great things. Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail. With a strong belief in your own inner voice, your dreams may come true. The deals will start to work in your favor. Don’t limit yourself. Don't put a ceiling on yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve when you put your whole heart and soul into. When we face challenges in life that are far beyond our own power, it's an opportunity to build on our faith, inner strength, and courage. I've learned that how we face challenges plays a big role in the outcome of them. Love what you do. Believe in your instincts. These are my words to you: Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact. We all have our own life to pursue, our own kind of dream to be weaving--Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire, sincerely believe, and enthusiastically act upon must inevitably come to pass. BTW ppl...i found a new sport im really excited about! Le-Parkour or....FREE RUNNING! Thanks hatta..u da man..my future parkour coach..ohlalala.im so addicted to all the videos wooohooo! michelle.verma at 8:52:00 PM AQUADUCKY GOOFING TIMEOUT PART II!       michelle.verma at 9:08:00 PM AQUADUCKY GOOFING AROUND!         * by the way have i told you ppl how i love my brand new Olympus underwater camera (mju 850 SW)? well know you noe;)
michelle.verma at 9:15:00 PM Clubbin @MOS 060308! A good club experience always consist of the music, the crowd, the space and cutie quota (minimum of five good-looking guys to — for eye candy to smoulder upto), but unfortnately yesterday i only had a bunch of great company and my first VIP pass to brag about. Yesterdays clubbing just didn’t make the cut (MORALE OF THE STORY: never club on Thursday!. Im sorry David for bringing ya to an un-crowded which wasnt trendy, lively or energetic. Hope you had fun meetin my mates though. Great catching up with you guys.         michelle.verma at 12:49:00 PM Existence exists - and the act of grasping that statement implies two corollary axioms: that something exists which one perceives and that one exists possessing consciousness, consciousness being the faculty of perceiving that which exists.
If nothing exists, there can be no consciousness: a consciousness with nothing to be conscious of is a contradiction in terms. A consciousness conscious of nothing but itself is a contradiction in terms: before it could identify itself as consciousness, it had to be conscious of something. If that which you claim to perceive does not exist, what you possess is not consciousness. -- Ayn Rand, "Galt's Speech," Atlas Shrugged michelle.verma at 8:37:00 PM Last night was cool: Spent it eating crystal jade with the new dutchie in the company(David) and introduced michy to him and vice versa. It was smackingly awesome. Found out both of them had a passion for water polo and were both from their national teams respectively. Met marcus the other singporean water polo member and had a quick intro by michy. The world is scarily small man.. Connections everywhere. On the way back..met Obi-Jel. Its been a long time since i saw that botak crazy gurl. WE NEED TO CLUB GURL! anyways yeah also yesterday was kinda of a happy day for me coz i got thru the Class 95 radio station and made a special dedication at the same time, except one week later from michy;s last dedication. Spoke to Jean, Rai and JAke for at least 1/2 an hr and made them sing the new maroon 5 song (won't go home without you) for michy and my aquaduckies. The dedication was too long but u noe they cut the part where i specifically dedicated it to (vicky, mok(s), dinah and all the recent ironman and singapore biathlon triathletes who completed their races). The DJ's were hillarious and obviously SO WAS I..lalalalalala.. i think i should maybe try my luck getting a job as a DJ lol;) Anyone in for clubbing this Wed/Thurs or Sat nite at MOS 10.30pm? juzz gimme a buzz:D michelle.verma at 12:56:00 PM It is in our lives and not our words or action that our religion must be read. It is a personal belief and an individual's own relationship with God. No one has a right to be judgemental about that.
The only real moral crime that one man can commit against another is the attempt to create, by his words or actions, an impression of the contradictory, the impossible, the irrational, and thus shake the concept of rationality in his victim. What do I believe? Ethics cannot be based upon our obligations towards people, but they are complete and natural only when we feel this Reverence for Life and the desire to have compassion for and to help all creature insofar as it is in our ability and power. I think that this ethic will become more and more recognized because of its great naturalness and because it is the foundation of a true humanism toward which we must strive if our culture is to become truly ethical. Life is going to push you around. It's going to beat you up, and it's going to scare you. But then, one day, you realize your not just a survivor, You're a warrior . Don't be afraid to be who you are. Life is just a chance to grow a soul. The personal life deeply lived always expands into truths beyond itself. michelle.verma at 9:11:00 PM
Don't need to wait for the sun to shine
Don't need to wait for the clouds to clear I'll still sing I know that my God You're so good Don't need to wait for the waves to still Don't need to wait for the storms to calm I'll still sing I know that my God You're so good I praise You, You are for me I praise You, Yes You love me I praise You, You are faithful I praise You, You see me through Your goodness Your mercy Shall follow me all my days michelle.verma at 11:30:00 AM Singapore Biathlon 2008: The past 3 yrs. This race has never let me down before and has always been memorable. In 2005: it was my very first biathlon and i stood at the starting line with my lifesaving team not knowing what to expect. All i knew at that time was that a darn fast gurl who is a champion triathlete was standing next to me at the starting line. But yet, no jittery feeling... i was to stoned and oblivious to the surroundings. 2006: I was acquainted to Vicky thru Sumiko at the start line. 2007: I was standing next to Vicky again at the start line and i happen to see a preety good photo shot of the starting today as i was browsing stuff on my computer. 2008(today): No training but managed to complete the route. Few of us know what we are capable of doing... we have never pushed ourselves hard enough to find out, Anyways today I stood at the line but something was amiss...nah not my googles nor my swimsuit..not my brain or my biceps too(as small mok would like to add)... As weird as it may sound but my darleeeinnnggg Vicky: I MISS YOU! I miss you at the start lines..the positive racing vibe you passed on to every competitor. Accomplishing unendless acheivements and still having a humbleness in ya....I cant forget the IRONMAN race and the past 3 biathlons you were present. But wadever it is babe...i really really am just proud of having u as my pal and im sure you have faith in your decisions. *FYI* Hope you love the song i personally uploaded for ya to be played on my website so that it makes your reading more pleasurable. lalalala. Anyways apart from missing that, I also missed my warmup as i was delayed due to the traffic jam on the way to ECP. So I swam and ran without with a good dose of calf strain and shin splint. However I happy to just have completed it within 1hrs 30ish minutes. Talking about being proud...dear dinahsaur belachan and big mokie congrats for coming 2nd in the womens open and mens open respectively. Woohoo to Christel and Miko you came in 4th and 5th respectively in women open. Hey Chrissygurl.. it was great chatting up with ya and getting to know you much betta missychickenpoxy..will send ya your pics thru friendster... You CHIMP-ions. I am honoured, blessed and proud to have you as my pals. “You are all Champions in your own way. That doesn't mean you have to be number 1 or be the best. Just do your best. If you aren't first, then make those people ahead of you break records by pushing them with your personal best. Consider for a moment what we achieve from triathlons - the sheer fun of competing - the building of a healthy and alert mind and body - stamina, courage, perseverance, dedication, commitment, selflessness and most importantly, the will to excel.” And to SmallMokthebuttheadmonkey: Grind it out. Hang on just a while longer and recover well enuff and I'm sure that you can continue running in the jungle, dessert and might even run on water. Just stop eating too much hazelNuts and chocys..hahaha We are looking at you being probably being the TOP female singaporean marathoner in maybe 3yrs? and Youth Olmypic Games 2010 triathlon champion girl? hahahaha! GOGOGOGOGO! *waves my pom pom in the air. Well as you may see this weekend has really been a good break from all my whining and philosophical quotes since a few weeks back. I'VE GOTTA LIVE AND LET GO! Letting go doesn’t mean me giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.      michelle.verma at 2:27:00 PM My knees are starting to shake, my mind's filled with wonder, my heart with fright. When will this feeling stop? When did it start? How can I listen to my mind, without breaking my heart's emotion? I'm so confused, what can I do? I can't think of anything. Why do we live in an age disturbed, confused, bewildered, afraid of its own forces in search not merely of its road but even of its direction? 8000bucks...my life and time..my studies..my career..my lifelong learning experience. Lord I need your help! NOW!
michelle.verma at 2:25:00 PM In life, many thoughts are born in the course of a moment, an hour, a day. Some are dreams, some visions. Often, we are unable to distinguish between them. To some, they are the same; however, not all dreams are visions. Much energy is lost in fanciful dreams that never bear fruit. But visions are messages from the Great Spirit, each for a different purpose in life. Consequently, one person's vision may not be that of another. To have a vision, one must be prepared to receive it, and when it comes, to accept it. Thus when these inner urges become reality, only then can visions be fulfilled. The spiritual side of life knows everyone's heart and who to trust. How could a vision ever be given to someone to harbor if that person could not be trusted to carry it out. The message is simple: commitment precedes vision.
michelle.verma at 1:14:00 PM How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.
michelle.verma at 12:10:00 PM To Vickycampbellsoupie and Big Mokie my dear friend: Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise. Let your desires be ruled by reason. Heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. I believe you're a Hero! You've got to believe it too.
michelle.verma at 11:41:00 PM Once in a while people push on to something better. Something found just beyond the pain of going it alone and just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in. Or to give someone a second chance. Something beyond the quite persistence of a dream.
michelle.verma at 7:51:00 PM "Your reason and your passion are your rudder and sails of your seafaring soul. If either be broken, you could but toss and drift or else be held at a standstill amid seas. For reason, running alone, is a force confining. And passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction." --Kahlil Gibran michelle.verma at 8:16:00 PM Do you ever wonder if we make the moments in our lives or if the moments in our lives make us?
michelle.verma at 9:20:00 PM Don't take me for granted: Nathanial Hawthorne once wrote: "No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself -- and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true." "There is a tide in the affairs of men. Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune. But omitted, and the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat, and we must take the current when it serves -- or lose the ventures before us." William Shakespeare, "Julius Ceaser Truth doesn't make a noise: T.H. White said "perhaps we all give the best of our hearts uncritically…to those who hardly think about us in return." "There seems to be a kind of order in the universe…in the movement of the stars and the turning of the Earth and the changing of the seasons. But human life is almost pure chaos. Everyone takes his stance, asserts his own right and feelings, mistaking the motives of others, and his own." Katherine Anne Porter michelle.verma at 1:48:00 PM         Had a blast of a time at ECP yesterday during the NUS Biathlon 2008.GREAT COMPANY! And yes!, We are the champion mixed team relayers once again. Swim was alright considering i havent been swimmin for 4 months and many did complain the currents were strong but i just swam what i could drafting the preety darn fast IVP biathletes. Came out of the water at 2nd placing in my wave with a terrible timing but darshan sure didnt let me down for the run. He caught up an brought us to victory. Saw alot of familar faces, got to know small mok much better and am proud of all the Champions(DinahSaur, Miko small mok and big mok). All in all great start to a new racing year.Wala! Hope the pictures did some of the talking. michelle.verma at 12:45:00 PM "Do you ever wonder how long it takes to change your life? What measure of time is enough to be life altering? Is it four years like high school? One year? An eight week rock tour? Can your life change in a month, or a week, or a single day? We're always in a hurry to grow up, to go places, to get ahead. And when you're young, one hour can change everything. Have you ever wondered what marks our timing? If one life can really make an impact on the world? Or if the choices we make matter? Sometimes in order to move forward, you have to go back. In this case, just a few minutes. Life comes at us from out of the darkness. And at times we can struggle to find the courage to face it. When life comes rushing at you from our of the darkness, who will you choose to face it with? Will it be someone you trust? Will they be wise? And will their love for you help them to guide you to the light? Or will they lose their way in the darkness? Will they make noble choices? Or will that person be someone untested, someone new? Life comes rushing at you from out of the darkness, when it does -- is there someone in your life you can count on? Someone who will watch over you when you stumble and fall? And in that moment, give you the strength to face your fears alone? There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment, you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on path? Will others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be haunted by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or simply give up. Will you let down your defenses, and find solace in someone unexpected? Will you reach out? Will you face your greatest fear bravely? And move forward with faith. Or will you succumb to the darkness in your soul?" michelle.verma at 11:17:00 AM Its been 4 months since i plunged into doing my first triathlon and marathon during the Ironman 70.3 Singapore and standard chartered marathon at just 20 yrs of age without a single bit of training. All i had was 3yrs of background of taking part in competitive triathlon relayers and though my swimming wasnt as good as it should have been my team mates were strong enough and we usually ended up on the podium consistently. Cheers to you mates: I couldnt have done it without you guys;). So obviously, there were a couple of negative views on my decision to partake in this grueling race by myself without training- a few of my close coaching and sport science educated friends tot i was going cuckoos. But my decision for it was simple.-(as i explained to small mok yesterday over msn), apart from my constant supportive friends and family. (vicks, bernard and the rest(who was in a lil disbelief)) With training, undoubtably the athlete will do extremely well and perform with excellence. But i believe that God made our bodies stronger than what we would ever imagine it to be. It is able to withstand a gruelling amount of thrashing. And as good souls to our bodies, we just gotta listen to it-when neccessary and take care of it. By testing it with such long endurance activities (which im just trying to do for COMPLETION), it puts to test your basal survival instint and what it is able to do in extreme conditions. The end outcome: it tells your mind that "HEY, I CAN DO IT!" which gives you a more positive perspective in living your daily life. "I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME. " Philipians 4: 13 Afterall, living your life is all about Your decisions and what YOU choose to want and believe in. And im so glad that there are people i know personally that thinks of choices carefully before coming to conclusions and who aren't afraid of stepping back to take time for her ownself. *Vickytoria..im sooooo gladddd to be ya frienddd and when are we gonna meet over kopi..it was supposed to be LAST WEELL!*..im sounding so pphilosopical...are you levitating already babe? Anyways, Ever since i turned 21 i started reflecting on my goals for this year and im serious on my embarkation on my Ironman Western Australia on the 7th of December-in the midst of calculating and making decisions. Anyone interested to join in, feel free to tag me. It would be by far my most memorable bday present to round up my 21st year. Well yesterday, as i was reminiscing my past 5yrs, I realied i've moved on from sport to sport: gaining an extensive amount of knowledge from each of them. I am really amazed at how God has pathed out my life since i stepped out from secondary school, took a break for a year before studying once again at the Singapore Sports Academy. He lured me into getting active once again, clinching coaching certificates back to back, got me an awesome job, made me a dilligent student, gave me a few golden oppurtunites that i really couldnt even dream of having. This year on top of the decision of my IMWA im also wanting to SKYDIVE! I hope that everything will fall into place and HE WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN! Okie okie now its time to PANIC for the fast season pathing the way to Brusselton! Oh yea! "Champions do not become champions when they win the event, but in the hours, weeks, months and years they spend preparing for it. The victorious performance itself is merely the demonstration of their championship character." Alan Armstrong "Gold medals aren’t really made of gold. They’re made of sweat, determination, and a hard-to-find alloy called guts." Dan Gable
michelle.verma at 11:10:00 AM How would you like to have your entire body exfoliated and massaged after a tough Ironman race or a sporting event? Well thanks to part of my diploma course module of sports massage i managed to practice and perform perform a sports massage on both of my personal favourite Ironman triathletes: AJ Anderson and Gemma Keogh Peters. That made school yesterday super dooper AWEESOMME. They were great people to work with and i realised that honestly these feww weeks has been preety scary and weird... I just realied that the world is an awfully small place. Everybody seems to be linked to everyone else. Maybe the 6 degrees of seperation might afterall just be true. E.g.(sulynn-sumiko-vicky-michellewong-dinah-mok)(me-leslie-poi-aj-grace-gemma-corporate triathlon)Blearrghhh...... Anyways apart from that i was totally bummed out dis morning: Slept at 3am this morning, woke up at 9 to help Mok run an errand(collect his darling Polar S725X and Rs400d from eddie) ...idioti-had a couple of confusion but well it was fun and i was in a good mood today sooo..its aite. After all these are just lil stuff we could do to help our friends right...nyahahahaha...;) Work..hmppfffff..well its been aite..rained today..had club night-took the kids timings..went preety smooth. Anyways annewil is going to leave for good on sunday..really glad i got to meet up with her and Sergee yesterday. i reckon im gonna mwisse her quite abit.Tilly is gonna be in Singapore next week! WOohooo..so, its time to party again! *Michelle is missing her guitar playing days in chapel and Girls' Brigade. I'm looking forward to selling my yamaha electric guitar to buy a new gibson semi acoustic guitar:( I need to strum some chords!
    michelle.verma at 1:28:00 PM The Polar S625X is the most awesome..slam-dunkest bday prezzie: THANKS TO MY FAMILY... from this top notch heart rate monitor is pefect for my trainings and race preperations...finally a personal watch specified to me! AWWWWW how excellent can it get..a food pod laced into my shoe. The pod that contains of an accelerometer, which estimates the distance of each step i take with a 98% accuracy and which could be caried on a variety of places and terrain. It even tells the altitude, the temperature, my intensity, shows me my schedule pogramme format. And what more..the best part of it: everything is logged onto my computer via infrared and the progress would then be charted alongside with my heart rate readings via a transmitter, overall calorie, distance, average page, speed, intervals and overall timings. WALA! Im off to play with my new gadget....oh yeay!    michelle.verma at 10:16:00 PM So i am really REally Really very happy these two days... WEll, 2 reasons...i dun wanna come across as cocky or boastfull..but but butt i really wanna say it out loud..but ermm:( everyone wants some kind of fame and name righttt??? and since its MY blog im just gonna say it out loud. I am gonna received the National Youth Achievement Award(GOld) also known as the president's award....and no.2 i might be going over to help out in the Beijing 2008 Olympics as part of my new university's practicum- I have decided to take my degree in United States Sports Academy (Bachelor in Sports Science; double majors in physiology and sociology). What more could I ask for.. I am extremely thrilled.. cant wait to graduated in march and continue with what is in store for me. "Life is like an endless road, But both the cases have an end, Be it life or death ahead, Or a road where destiny bends, But life and road are never together afloat, Because along the road the moment you stop, There comes along your destiny, But life is not the name of a pause, it is but a moving symphony. " -Sushmita Sen-
michelle.verma at 11:32:00 AM My very first Youube video made: My Aviva Ironman 70.3 Singapore 2007 story: Michelle Verma;) Go check it out and rate it babes. Enjoy!;)
michelle.verma at 3:40:00 PM "There are dreams that may seem good but are only worth a short while, and there are dreams that you know you will have no regrets living for the rest of your life. Opposition to those dreams test how well we've thought it through and whether we really want it" Rueben Kee En Rui 1984-2007
michelle.verma at 9:46:00 PM The past 3 days has been crazzy for me..i grounded my butt firmly onto my couch in front of lappie top just muggin and trying to complet all my assignments for interim with a few tempting distractions of hindi movies(specifically those that feature sushmita sen- a lady with excellent poise and an outstanding charm plus beauty), facebooking, listening to some good trance music, msning and hogging the phone that im guilty of indulging in..but anyways so after 3 days i finally told myself im going clubbin and nothing was gonna stop me..been exactly 3 months since i last clubbed and came back so busted..well last nite was much betta. bummed into a few of my ol pals...but partyinnn waaasssss AWESSOMMEEE espescially with my all time fav hunny pies..hahahaha ahem ..u noe who u are...1st time you came out sober ey... haha..good on ya! anyway to the rest of you guys: Todos amigos Michelle avra y una muy prospero y excelente ano neuvo!
michelle.verma at 1:12:00 PM well..i was just doing my assignments and i saw this really awesome quote by Laura bennett, a professional USAT female triathlete. This is her take on doping: "if you’re on drugs, of course your going to win. Where is the challenge in that? It is not them winning, it is the drug. Should we put a little pill or vile up on the podium? We could make it wear a pharmeceutical printed jersey and have it pop champagne" michelle.verma at 12:00:00 AM     Awesome company, marvellous food, outstanding frankness and comaradie. Thank you all for the wonderful post christmas dinner and chill out session. Its was cool, crazy and funky..wouldnt have spent it any other way.. to mok ying ren..aka.bigmokie...i never have my doubt in you..you are a champion! CHIMPANZION!;) i had a Christ filled christmas;) lalalalalalalala! michelle.verma at 6:07:00 PM
And to the Rest of you guys..wishing ya a blessed, fruitful new year ahead and an awesome Christ filled Christmas;) hohohohohoholalalalala! michelle.verma at 1:17:00 PM So never in my mind did i doubt thy golden merlion mokie would clinch the gold medal in the sea games triathlon..really proud of ya bruddah...anyways yeah network connection on phone really bad..but hope ure doing aite ..moral of the story..drink more before ya competition okie pokie..ure my next commonwealth games champion okie..1min 15 seconds to shave off and i am definitely sure u got that medal in ur bag too...hip hip hurray.. as for aunty vannysaaaa neooo...i noe ur badminton match didnt go quite well...but you trained really hard this year and i feel youre still a fabulous player gurl.see ya around in school next year;) yesterday, i had an awesome time rock climbing with brian and chandra for 4 hrs +, practices all my knots, lead climbing, self belaying and climb techniques and then went over to suntec for kopi n donuts with vickytoria, shu, thapa and brian...it was rocking babes- very constructive and crazyyy...hahaa should do that more often vicks. vicks your a scarryyyy gurll man...we practically think really similar stuff just that..with slight variation with our training philosophies..but hey i RESPECT ya stuff man..im just DIFFERENT... youre a gem alriteeee...this quote is specially for ya babe: "Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it's yours."-- Ayn Rand, "Atlas Shrugged" haha anyways well cant wait for the desaru bike ride this week...im off to the gym now and heres some pics to round up yesterday. I did the overhang and the incline wall but my darlin brian was such a brilliant photographer that he only took me rather than the difficulty of the wall.. Thanks doink;) hahaha.
      michelle.verma at 11:36:00 AM So today i woke up at 4.30am in the morning just to send mokie off for sea games 2007 held in bangkok. Was tiring with just barely 4hrs of sleep, but all well worth it for an awesomely charismatic, humble sweetie pie friend. Hey dude i'm prayin with all my heart thay youre gonna sweep the gold medal for triathlon ey..you will forever be a champion in my eyes..more like a chAMPanzee..lol..hope you like the gift..lol. here are some shots we took today...Take care, rest well and just do ya best;).
   michelle.verma at 8:34:00 PM I am exalted that that on the 1st Day of my 21st yr i HAVE conquered thy 42.195km marathon in 6hrs without training a wee bit. all glory and honour to the Highest!   michelle.verma at 9:52:00 PM 21st BiRtHdaY EsCaPaDe! Thank you thank you to all those who made my 21st birthday so special;). From all the cable skiing action with Jel, Nita, John and Francis till the midnite of 3oth november to the crytal jade dinner date with my jungle friends from the 3rd GB (wong lay jeng, danielle and joanne) to my Brian and 2 other friends for the most unforgettable birthday treat that had so much preparations, nancy jansen for my 2008 limited edition Giro helmet ...and not forgettin those tonnes of birthday wishes by alll my lovie dovies..THANK YOU SO MUCH BABES! LOVE YA GUYS TO BITS. im overwhelmed by all the love you people have showered me with and no words could measure or be able to speak of my emotions.. i know you guys blew a big hole off your pockets for my prezzies, spent sleepless nite planning for it, and had to tell me lots of white lies and find time to blow this awesome prata party ...awwwwwwww...and also by running the full marathon with me tomolo(42km babes! on he 1st day of my 21st year.)..it would be really really special to me(ACHIEVEMENT!).. i willnot forget my 21st bday forever man. you guys will always live in my heart.. i will definitely be puttin up some pics..so ppl hang on tight and just keep viewing my blog for more updates;) I'm all ready and done up for m new years resolution. Abba..daddy God knows what is on my heart and i believe and receive it in faith. So well im up for more rock climbing next week and hopefully skydiving next year...oh yeah..this month is gonna be awesome. Very few work days this month..clearing my annual leaves, thinking of goin for the IronCamp in langkawi, christmas and marathon and company leave...,its AWEEEEESOOOMMEEEE....yeah babay yeah!;)Other Highlights of the past Week:
       michelle.verma at 4:46:00 PM "The spirit, the will to win, and the will to excel are the things that endure. These qualities are so much more important than the events that occur." Vince Lombardi Saturday, 3rd November 2007 michelle.verma at 8:51:00 PM So wazzup ey... the past was preeety freaaky.. so well after a full wild day of shoppin, just waiting for the bus leads me to saving a life or maybe not- came face to face with taxi and motorbike accident that flung him across really far leaving him flat on the tarred road..he was one lucky guy who survived with not a scratch man. Anywas great newss woohooo United States Sports Academy is coming to Singapore- which means i might just go back to full time studying next year., Awesome ain;t it. Well apart from that missing bernard my darling team runner- he is not gonna be around for race for a full year and im sure gonna miss the hell outta him...but on the other hand im exalted to work with my new team for corporate triathlon(junrong and darshan). Oh yeah;)
michelle.verma at 11:47:00 AM She was always the extremely spirited and fierce looking girl who could can crack and extrodinary triathlon timin and could rattle the podium easily. At every single triathlon swim start i would just have a cool funky vibe standing next to this lady who ran and swam and bike as if there was no tomolo and would charge at her opponent like a bulldozer ready to charge. And i always thought to myself that the exceptionally talented triathlon champ was like a woah...a person that i would probably never be able to have the guts to approach what more to crap with together and confide in. She is definitely a lifelong pal that i truly appreciate having and is not worth any physical or material trade in the world. She is a constant motivation and an inspirational figure in the sports that im ever so passionate about. Here's to My favourite IronMan VickytoriaCambellSoup: "Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them-a desire, a dream, a vision...they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill." (Mohammed Ali) "The greatest mistake a man can make is being afraid to make one."
michelle.verma at 9:51:00 PM
In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won For I’ve been blessed beyond measure And by His strength alone I’ll overcome Oh, I could stop and count successes like diamonds in my hands But those trophies could not equal to the grace by which I stand In Christ alone I place my trust And find my glory in the power of the cross In every victory Let it be said of me My source of strength My source of hope Is Christ alone In Christ alone do I glory For only by His grace I am redeemed For only His tender mercy Could reach beyond my weakness to my need And now I seek no greater honor in just to know Him more And to count my gains but losses to the glory of my Lord In Christ alone I place my trust michelle.verma at 9:37:00 PM so im still dwellin in my post ironman 70.3 mood. and sometimes i live in regret for not running..if only..IF ONLY i ran i could have came in 3rd as a bonus... although i KNOW...haha it would have been unjust because i really wanted and hoped Vicky would have won the race hands down and also i hadnt trained for the race, which was my very first full individual triathlon and i'd told myself I just wanted to complete it in one piece comfortably... and i managed to do so.... so i should shut up and be thankful....ARGGGHHHHH! That explains the remarkably shitty timing..lalalalalala. Oh ya i was also really proud of my dear Theresa Goh..you sure got guts babe...you were super awesome at the race! Anyways in any case i really feel that God has been showering me with his blessing and protection even long before i embarked on the race, during the race and even till today when i feel i am no longer motivated to go to church. Shu and my other friends have been spiritually just helping me to get a grip of myself back on the path and i really would love to thank them. I just need time to reason things out yea. God indeed gave me exceedingly abundantly above all that i could have ask or thought of and gave me supernatural energy just to complete that tough feat. Woots. Likethe song(Friends in High Places-Hillsong Australia) goes; I was in need and I needed a friend I was alone and I needed a hand I was going down But someone rescued me My God cares too much to say His mercies are new everyday I get down to pray And then help is on its way I walk by faith and not by sight If things go wrong, itll be alright' Cause someone greater Is watching over me Now in faith, I believe Ive got everything I need I walk by faith and not by what I see Ive got friends in high places Ive got someone I can call And Ive got someone watching over me So, here are some highlights(recently and soon to come)
hmm and tats about all folks. Will keep ya posted! Here's some photos taken recently. Enjoy and have fun!
michelle.verma at 9:56:00 AM AVIVA IRONMAN 70.3 SINGAPORE So the confirmed position was 4th ..out of 6..but hey im still happy and thankful for every single experience of that sweet race. The AVIVA Ironman 70.3 Singapore was the first IRONMAN 70.3 race in Asia and the 2nd of September 2007 will be one of the most memorable day in my life. I had set a goal to complete it before hitting 21 and wala that is done.The completion of this gruelling event which consisted of a 1.9km swim, 90.1km bike ride and 21.1km run had brought up my spirit to a maximal high(emotional, physically and mentally), like no other sport i've done in all my life. ..and trust me..i've pratically tried every blardee sport excluding skydiving and bungee jumping which i would willingly do it one day. As this was my first full triathlon, there were some people who were against me going through with this long distances as they said it will be a cause of aggrevation and stress to my current state of physical well being and moreover comparing it with my late friends who passed away even though they were so fit. They said i wasnt experience enuff and didnt think i could finish it. I so wanted to give up at the starting line even before i started but i dunno wad made me just press on and bear with the chooppy water, quadricep cramps, steep unudulating bridges, thunderstorm, fatigue and abbrations from my suit, blisters and a bike crash. I hadnt slept well for the prior 2 weeks since i came back from Australia for my triathlon coaching course as i was having race jitters and had tonnes of assignments that were due also smacked up together. But hey..u noe wad shitheads..screw urself coz i made it in one piece and i still had alot of time to make a kopi and still sip it slowly. I believe all this can be overcome and accomplished if you yourelf master your own mind, know your limits and strategise carefully. There’s the belief that there’s nothing people can’t do as they make the most of their lives. And thanks to my Abba Father in Heaven JESUS, ever so loving family and supportive friends, completing and racing in this event was suppa funkily exhilirating. It had tightened my existing friendship bonds and i had made new friends(the extraordinary Theresa Goh the lil sausage that swims like a fish). Anyways I was really inspired by the SDSC athletes....awesome willpower and determination..take my hat of to you ppl. *Shoutouts*
TRIATHLON COACHING in AUSSIELAND(Perth) 11 degree celcius in a beautiful landscaped city is something that i would love for a getaway. Though i just went to perth for a week, i fell in love with the people and the lifestyle there. Laid back, great place for sports(cool aquatic complexes and stadiums..particularly challenge stadium), awesome and scenic views(beaches, park), great shopping , food and accomodation. Coffee in the evenings and some good old fish and chips with beer in the evening. All was good except for the cab fares..lol..blardee expensive man.. I should so take up my driving and pass it soon. Anyways i also broke a record my spending 1000bucks in like 10minutes in a triathlon shop,nearby Fermentle.. Total Triathlon is a blardee good shop man..i miss that place. Met alot of weird people, crazy scary people and also inspiratonal ppl. namely the physically challenge triathletes who had completed a whole IRONMAN without various limbs. Good stuff man. WEll will try to update the picture on my webshots soon..but if youre impatient..you may visit my friendster to view sneak pictures at www.friendster.com/degothic So in a nutshell: WHAT HAS BEEN GOING ON IN MY LIFE
WHAT'S to come in the coming weeks?
michelle.verma at 7:59:00 PM Official Ironman70.3 Triathlete! Top 5 placing F18-24(TBC)duh coz only 6 ppl lar. michelle.verma at 7:17:00 PM 2 friends passing away in a month is totally unexpected and almost unbelievable to me to come to terms with. Ian ..Ian my good friend, my nutritional and race mentor,my bruddah with tits that i so love..he always wanted nothing more than to live his life to the fullest. In everything he did, he had this unwavering sense of determination, no matter how difficult it proved and how tough it seemed. Ian made a big impact in my life. I had gotteen to know him from Lien at a Macdonalds on one of my study nite bunks over at ECP. He was awesomely jovial and since then we started keeping in touch and he used to tell me when Lien would torture himself and sorta get badly injured. Thanks Lien for introducing me to Ian. I know you two were the best of pals and I can't afford to see ya sad... I'll be there for ya if you ever need me. Just a few weeks back I was talking to him over the phone and was supposed to meet him this week. On Saturday nite, I had an urge to call him to meet him on sunday morning..but on second thought i remembered he was off to Desaru. I regretted not calling him that nite. Sunday at 4.30am he was pronouced dead. When I met Lien online early in the morning, he told me the shocking news on msn and I thought he was punking me. For a moment I was in shock and just shut up staring at my computer screen listening to "in loving memory by th alter bridge". I just couldnt believe it.. I kept asking Lien if it was true..but somehow or another my heart wasnt at peace and i decided to call Ian's handphone myself instead. That thing i regret somehow. A guy answered te phone and when i asked him solemnly.."Hi may i speak to Ian pls?" He answered.." He's not around..anymore"..and I just broke down and said "so it was true.. my deepest condolencs ..i'll be there at the wake..i've got the details." ..afterwhich I hung up the phone. When I went down for the wake on the rainy evening, I realised that there were alot of my friends wo knew him too. We all stood under the rain taking shelter with a canas sheet..we were all laughing around saying that was the thing that ian would do if he was with us too. When I went to pay my final respects to him, he looked really at peace and I was on the verge of crying when i saw all his achievements and equipments( kayak, mountainbikes, climing shoes, paddle, helmet, attire and posters)alongside his casket..it was then i recalled I did ask Ian a few times to bike with me to Bintan but unfortunately he had something against roadies and we never got to bike together. Days that you would drive your van down under the normal usual meeting place and fill my bottles and barrls up with left over perpectuam, heed and hammergels from the races..i still find it weird u survive on those things daily..anyways i still have them... i will use them sparingly and think of ya..betta make me faster yeah;)..He was always there for me and I wouldnt forget that one nite I eally needed a bicycle air catridge and didnt have any spare for a long ride the next day..he travelled down imediately to pass me to air catridge.."i still owe you one dude..i;ll bring it to heaven when i meeet ya okie bimbo bro;) and hey hey you still owe me a dress and a skirt from hong kong...make sure its pink okie;)" We had the best blabering days through numerous discussing about sports, nutrition gadgets, studies, church, equipments, training. Another blog extract said that: "Injuries and business commitments kept him from being fully active, but I recognized that no other person, not having done an adventure race himself, could pursue his passion for outdoors and adventure in the tireless and enthusiastic way Ian did. Have fun in Heaven Bro! And keep your eyes on us ..you rock.. Love Ya! Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life: no one can come to the Father(God)(in Heaven), but by me." (John 14:6) michelle.verma at 11:07:00 PM  In Memory of Ian Ng To all those who knew Ian from hammernutrition(basecamp): He justpassed away this morning(22July 07)due to the fatal dengue fever. A service will be held tommorow(23July07) at St Joseph Church Parlour, Queen Street Bugis @ 8pm. Full reports are in the StraitsTimes page 4. He is the youngest to die from dengue this year. Pls keep his family and loved ones inprayers. Ian was blessed to be a blessing and was an extrodinary friend with full of zest in living his life.We'll will miss him.
michelle.verma at 8:45:00 PM
"It's not the will to win, but the will to prepare to win that makes the difference.." TM. Thaddeus Cheong 2007
michelle.verma at 2:08:00 PM So well its been ages since i told ya wazzup ey;) I've been laggin on blogger man. Well it seems that so much has been happening and i practically ain't got any idea as to where to start so i think i will just list it down and try to arrange it from the earliest- latest events since the last time i blogged.
E.E. Cummings once wrote; 'To be nobody-but-yourself - in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.'" michelle.verma at 9:58:00 AM Woohooo i just bought my new Sony Vaio SZ-433N with the carbon fibre screen for a pocket blowing 2.8k darn.....anyways yeah will blog bout what been goin on in my life prreeeety soon when i;ve sorta settled what on my mind now...thats probably gonna take a while..love ya ppl who are still viewing my blog.. my latest updates these days are however on my friendster profile @ www.friendster.com/degothic michelle.verma at 11:44:00 PM MY ROAD TO IRONMAN 07/08- photos by John Heng Le'Pro. tm!          michelle.verma at 10:15:00 AM This morning at around 5am(time of his death), I woke up suddenly just to realise that its been 2 yrs since my dear funky classmate, that sat directly in front of me during classes in senior high and who used to bug me for sweets, left the world to be seated at the right hand of God with Jesus. Blenheim Tan Ri Kai you have not been forgotten. I still miss you very much and there are many times i still remenisce the times we had together. Right now, i can just feel his prescence, with a supernatural vision that he's looking at us from the heavens above. "You ever look at a picture of yourself and see a stranger in the background? It makes you wonder how many strangers have pictures of you, how many moments of other peoples lives have we been in, we're we a part of someone's life when their dreams came true, or were we there when their dreams died. Did we keep trying to get in, as if we were somehow destined to be there, or did the shot take us by surprise. Just think, you could be a big part of someone else's life, and not even know it." *Anyways to all the 3rd Coy girls brigade alumni: It was great meeting up with you girls after a long time..brought back alot of fantastic and unforgettable memories..we should hang out soong again! Happy 70th Bday 3rdGB! Comrades are we in the girls brigade! michelle.verma at 7:03:00 PM Songs on my playlists today:
michelle.verma at 8:28:00 PM So it has been a while since the start of 2007 that i've been slackin in posting up my blog. Well many things have been occuring in my life-ranging from extremely awesome situations to absurdly rotten ones. Here's a list of the stuff that has been goin on from awesome to rotten:
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